Friday, June 28, 2013

LAUGHING MATTERS

The best thing the Sun Sentinel has done in many years is to quote the late night comedians in a column called "Late Night Humor."

After reading news that causes us to feel sad, mad, bad, it is a shot of good humor that can soothe the pain.

Here are some winners:

"In New York, the front-runner in the mayor's race is Anthony Weiner. Some say it is due to name recognition. Actually, I think a few people recognize more than his name."
—Conan O'Brien

Way to go Co. Ridickulous!!

"The Supreme Court has ruled the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. Once someone explains this to me I am sure I will be thrilled about it."
—David Letterman

Good one Davie. Perhaps this means that marriage is indefensible!! I think you would agree. Sorry!

On the same subject Jay Leno said, "...What we need in this country is a marriage cap. You're allowed three and after that you are done."

Many would radically disagree Jay. For some it takes time to find a soul mate. Just ask....nope not going there!

Laugh a lot so u won't cry a little.

Bye for Now,

bill

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

SEA SHELLS

can be a metaphor for our lives. Day before yesterday, the beach in Jupiter was littered with shells of all sizes, types, and colors. It was beautiful as were the sunny blue skies and aqua marine waters that gently kissed the shore.

Yesterday there were some shells, but not that many. Today hardly any. Like the tides and the shells, our lives shift day to day. Not every day is sunny and bright. But hopefully, things return to a better state quickly when not so positive shifts occur.

Intriguingly, it is hard to understand why the shells come and go as they do. Similarly, sometimes it is hard to know why our  lives shift as they do. But when it happens we just have to float.

I hope that your emotional beach is filled with beautiful shells, more often than not.

Bye for Now,

bill

Monday, June 24, 2013

JUST FOR GIGGLES

Why do anteaters never get sick?
Because they are full of little ant-ibodies.

A group of men at the office were talking when one said," In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done, when the cooking is done, and when the dishes are washed." One of the other guys asked, "How long have you been married?" His response was, "Oh, I'm not married!"

The man approached a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can u talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss" said the foreman, "have you any actual experience picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter of fact Yes!" she replied. "I have been divorced 3 times."
 A little laughter each day is essential to your health, happiness, and harmony.

All from the little gem, the Orange Peel Gazette

Bye for Now,

Bill

Friday, June 21, 2013

WORE THE HEADBAND

and scored more than a third of the team points with double digit rebounds. These games were a metaphor of life in so many ways:

Never, never, never give up.

Do your very best and "play" your heart out.

Hang tough and at times, play rough—but not dirty.

Second is still pride worthy.

First is 80% sweat and skill, and 20% luck, and the way the ball bounces.

Getting to first is a long, grueling haul—it doesn't come easy.

And finally, the sportsmanship and mutual respect at the end of the game says a lot for character, and model how we need to treat those in our corner and those with whom we compete. That they went from warriors to huggers tells the tale.

Congrats HEAT!

Bye for Now,

bill

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

BET YOU THOUGHT IS WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE

HEAT!!  Right u r. Just another game. No biggy, other than the fact that it seemed scripted by Hollywood and made for a most exciting event, and a future made for TV movie.

Personally, i think I am going to start wearing a headband, so that when it comes off, I too can become superhuman.

Game 7 should be interesting. I'm thinking home court advantage and all fired up from game 6 the Heat will prevail, even though they may not be the better team. Then again it's the Spurs "TURN!"

The real question in my mind is will Lebron wear a headband or leave it off so he can play well all four quarters? That frankly, would be a refreshing change.

I promise that as soon as game 7 is over I will get back to more human topics, including the top ten reasons President Obama's hair is turning gray.

Bye for Now,

bill

Monday, June 17, 2013

I THOUGHT I NAILED IT BUT

my family came down hard on yesterday's post. They used words like "harsh" and "aggressive" and the only word they seemed to like was HUMBUG!

So my sincere apologies to all those Facebook fanaddicts who took umbridge at my critical words. I meant no harm, and your babies and pets are adorable. And the meaningless events you write about are meaningful to you so why should I judge?

On yet another level of life i recommend the following books without reservation:

The Art of Racing In The Rain  by Garth Stein  The story is told by the family dog. Very meaningful words and creatively done.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See  Might be considered a chic book, but i really enjoyed it. Much about the strange and foreign customs and beliefs about 19th century China, the "abuse" of women, told in beautiful prose.

Bye for Now,

Bill

ps Can u please explain the Heat collapse last nite to me. The two teams seem to be taking greatness turns! Do the math and u know what that means. Spurs in 7. Tell me it ain't true Mr. James.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

I HAVE COME TO THE UNFORTUNATE CONCLUSION THAT

Facebook is the techno-modern version of trivial pursuit. Nine out of ten posts have neither merit nor meaning, but to the poster.

Here are the worst offenders:

I know u love your kid but I don't need to see daily pics—unless they are of my grand kids!

I mostly don't care where u r and what u r doing, unless it is very special and meaningful.

I don't even get what "tagged" means as most of the time the person "tagged" doesn't appear in the pic??

It is not interesting to me that your friend's friend had a birthday party, bridal shower, wedding, etc. and i don't need to see all the pics as one of you is sufficient, if not overkill.

With only a few exceptions all those signs you post are silly.

The pics of anonymous animals are really boring.

The pics of named animals are really boring too.

Then of course, there are these write xyz in the box below and c what happens. It is amazing. Whenever i do that nothing happens!

If you are drunk and you know it don't post your pic for your Mom and Boss to see!

I am sincerely happy your 7 year old won his t ball game. Next time email me the video or call me with the highlights. I wish there was a symbol for putting your finger down your throat.

That you are playing a game over the internet intrigues me as much as if I knew you were moving your bowels. I am sure that post will be coming soon—hopefully without a pic.

And one last one. Why do I care that u r changing your profile pic, especially when u change it every third day.

HUMBUG! I am clearly an old fart who doesn't understand the modern way people waste time aka communicating. I would post the above, but fear all would defriend me and that rejection might just not hurt and then where would I be without my Fbook friends. Isolated, lonely, and without Trivial Pursuit!!

Finally, last nite my daughter-in-law posted that my grandson got the college dorm he wanted with a/c, on premise bathroom, cafeteria in the same building, and said, "What more could a Freshman ask for? I posted "A fresh women." She didn't respond. I guess i should have pressed like and have been done with it. Creativity fails on Fbook!


Bye For now,

bill


Saturday, June 15, 2013

AND A VERY, VERY HAPPY

Father's Day to all.

Bye for Now,

bill

AS A STUDENT OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR

I keep wondering about the wide-ranging inconsistency of both the Heat and the Spurs. Clearly, in the scheme of life and important matters, the question is unimportant, but rarely in life does one see such bipolar displays of achievement, from one night to the next game—greatness followed by grossness followed by greatness.

Tonight on TV, Shane Battier was asked that very question. His response, and I  paraphrase was, To answer that we need Sigmund Freud, and I don't have his cell number! That was definitely a 3 pointer.

To avoid the next turn about, even more than Siggie, we need Wade to be back to being D. Wade, as he was in game 4. And no more "funks" for the big man on campus. The Heat need him to be bright- eyed and bushy-tailed, and just as strong  and aggressive as he was in game 4.

I think many of us peripheral fans, are more curious to see who shines, than care about who wins, blasphemous as that might sound. "Go high paid players!" seems an appropriate rallying cry for both teams. That is my tee shirt for Sunday nite.

Bye for Now,

bill

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

THE QUESTION REMAINS

what do we do when inconsistency turns into mediocrity? It is an ago old question.

Time will tell!

Bye for Now,

bill

Monday, June 10, 2013

WE ARE ALL VARIABLE CREATURES

What we learn from the twists and turns from game to game (think HEAT here) is that highly paid professional athletes are not machines. They are human and therefore have their ups and downs, get tired, stressed, sloppy, confused, make mistakes, win, lose and are subject to all of the variations and vicissitudes of living, like the rest of us.

And sometimes they make big mistakes that eventually catch up with them—just like many everyday people. As people at all levels of life we need to fill our "pride banks" and not add to our "shame and blame" accounts. I hope you do that today and everyday.

Bye for Now,
Bill

Friday, June 7, 2013

MINE MY DATA ALL YOU WANT BUT MIND MY PRIVACY

The posturing of politicians never ceases to amaze me. The front page news that NSA looks at phone and internet records created a fire storm of outraged indignation . Former Vice President Al Gore tweeted (there is something inherently wrong with those words) "In digital era, privacy must be a priority. Is it just me, or is secret blanket surveillance obscenely outrageous."

To me it is quite simple. If the government is checking up on me to see if I go to porn or gambling sites (which, by the way, I do not Big or little Brother or Sister), I feel that is an invasion of my privacy, counter to the constitution, and a waste of our tax dollars.

If, however, they are checking up to make sure I am not conspiring to hurt other Americans, though still a waste of time and money, mine all you want. My tweet would be, "In digital era privacy must be respected, but anti-terrorism tactics must explore and exploit all possible sources and resources." I think that is too many letters for a tweet, but let's see if they catch me!

Bye for Now,

Bill

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

WILL THE MIAMI HEAT STAND UP AND IDENTIFY THEMSELVES

Not easy to understand the inconsistency of play, but happy they won handily tonight.

GO HEAT!

Bye for Now,

bill