Wednesday, January 30, 2013

12 YEARS AGO OR SO

I noticed and wrote about the world not working so well anymore.

It is worse than ever so buyer be ware, look over your shoulder, read every word in your contract and have a lawyer on retainer. I am NOT a gun person, but carrying one for protection is an interesting question to research and ponder.

Much as I try to be optimistic about life, life let's me down. More specifically, too many people let me down.

My philosophy of Realistic Optimism makes sense. When it is realistic be optimistic. When it is not realistic protect your butt.

Bye for Now,

Bill

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

DID U EVER NOTICE THAT

mail marked important, urgent or DO NOT DISCARD is usually junk mail and mail that is low key and nondescript is usually very important.

I wonder if this tells us something about people too?

What do you think? I think so! You may recall the saying "Still waters run deep."  And there is another one that goes something like this "Noisy brooks are shallow."

Bye For Now,

Bill

Monday, January 28, 2013

WORDS WORTH READING


When you are following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves.

—Shakti Gawain


Take it from me, that distinction dissolving can be both a blessing and a curse.


Bye for Now,

Bill aka The Robot

Thursday, January 24, 2013

ONE MORE LAUGH


Why are married women sometimes heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in the bed, and they go to the fridge.

I didn't write that, just quoting! But the funny thing about some jokes is that they are not that far off from the truth!

Bye for Now,

bill

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

ANOTHER JOKE FROM ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE


A couple was sleeping. The wife had a bad dream and woke up crying and scared.
Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried.
She replied " I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you."
Husband said, "Honey, it's okay it was just a dream."
Wife responded loudly, "That is why I am crying."

Bye for Now,

Bill

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

UNLIKE THE BEATLES I DON'T WANT TO

"Hold Your Hand"

I have given up shaking hands for flu season and perhaps permanently.

I have never fully understood the tradition. If you google its origins it dates back to the 5th century BC. It was used to show the other guy that the hands contained no weapons.

In today's world it seems to be more about friendship and honor, as it is not so easy to hide an Uzi. Then again, I have shaken hands with many people who betrayed my trust and dishonored themselves. A handshake is not exactly what it once was.

But hands do contain weapons, namely germs. I think fist bumps make more sense—especially during flu season. I simply say, "I am not shaking hands these days. Please don't take it personally. Here's a fist bump instead."

By all means, follow my lead. Okay, let's shake on that—NO WAY!!


Bye for Now,

Bill

Monday, January 21, 2013

THIS WEEKS A JOKE!

The following hit home:

"I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to exercise everyday. I'm going on a diet and stick to it... Hey is that cake?"

"I'm going to open a gym called 'Resolutions.' For the first two weeks of the year it's a gym, the rest of the year it's a bar."

"My doctor told me to watch my drinking... Now I drink in front of a mirror."

"Alcohol doesn't make you FAT...It makes you LEAN... Against tables, chairs, walls, etc."


Hope you can stick to your resolutions this time around, cause if you don't you may not be around this time next year. Hope I can too! I really want to be here.

Bye For Now,

bill

Saturday, January 19, 2013

APPROPOS OF YESTERDAY'S POST

Though I kibitzed yesterday about the guy answering "right away"that was the clue that should have alerted me. I didn't get a recording that said, "Thank you for calling Yahoo customer service. Press 1... Press 2... etc. Your wait time is 12 minutes.

The SOB answered right away with "How Can I Help You?" That was a red flag that I missed. Hope you don't.

Bottom line was all I needed to do was change my Yahoo password. For that he was going to charge me $299.95. May the bird of paradise," as Johnny used to say, "defecate on his head!"

By the way, my new password is.....NO WAY! I learn from my lessons. Hope you do too.


Bye for Now,

bill

Friday, January 18, 2013

APPROS OF YESTERDAYS POST

Today, this afternoon in fact, I could not send emails. So I goggled yahoo customer care. Got some 800 #'s. Guy answered right away. Should have known there was something wrong.

He sounded like he was from India or thereabouts so that sounded normal too.

"Oh, you have an infection from facebook," he said. "I must log on to your computer to fix it." Schmuck me let him logmein. To make a long, bs story shorter he took me thru a variety of twists and turns and finally said "For $299.95 I will fix this problem!"

At that point I said, "Is this Yahoo?" He said "We are Yahoo technicians." "Get off my computer" I shouted. And he did.

The moral of the story is simple. Those who ain't eyeing your purse or brief case in your car are working you and me in every way possible. And they are good at it.

Proceed with caution. Let the person be wary of everything cause it ain't paranoid to be paranid these days—it is sensible and protective.


Bye for Now,

Bill

Thursday, January 17, 2013

HIDE EVERYTHING

My friend and colleague left her purse in the car while she ran into Publix in her new neighborhood in Boca. No purse when she came back. Welcome to Boca and anywhere USA.

Predators lurk everywhere—especially at gyms, shopping centers, malls, and other places where time is on there side. And, by golly, they are quick.

Though police service aids put notes on our cars when they see us "exposed," we often forget about the "bad guys" lurking in the shadows.

Much as I write about hope and optimism, I encourage you to watch your back and your butt at all times.

Hide everything!


Bye for Now,
bill

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

THOUGHT I HAD THIS MORNING

There is nothing on my "to do" list more important or of higher priority than taking better care of me in the new year.

Hope you feel similarly.

Bye For Now,

Bill

STRANGERS IN THE NITE

Tonight I discovered that when we fly on airplanes, crashing is not our number one problem. Planes rarely crash!

The number one problem is ...germs. Flying back from NYC just about everyone was sick or getting sick. Coughing, sneezing, or sniffling were everywhere. The bathrooms were a petri dish of polluted poisons. The majority of people looked pale, if not green. I wished for a Purell bath and an antibiotic shower when I got home.

My advice is if you don't need to fly DON'T. If you haven't gotten a flu shot DO.

As we already know the world has become pretty emotionally ill, but it is also about temperature, stomach aches and bronchitis. Perhaps we should all start wearing surgical masks in public, like the Asians who do.

Bye For Now,

bill

ps wish me luck as I fight and fend off the frightening germs of flight.

Monday, January 14, 2013

ON THIS MY BIRTHDAY

I AM ENJOYING BEING WITH MY NEW GRAND DAUGHTER—the best gift of all. The Goddess of Love gave us a beautiful blessing for which we are all appreciative.

I wish wonderful gifts to you as well throughout the year—not of the material kind, but of the emotional and heartfelt, as they are the very best of all.


Bye for Now,

Bill

Thursday, January 10, 2013

STILL NOT SEEING ANY HANDS RAISED FROM YESTERDAY

but seeing hands shook! Yesterday, I talked about my ATT experience.  What I noticed was that each time an associate approached a customer they shook hands. By the time they got to me the gal must have shaken 20+ people's hands. I thought about the germs being passed around at a time when the flu is running rampant. Yet, I instinctively and automatically shook her hand.

NEVER AGAIN.

From now on, fist bumps for all or no contact whatsoever. I kinda think we should ban hand shakes along with semi-automatic weapons. Both are unnecessary and potentially dangerous. Bullets and bacteria are injurious to our health and welfare.


Bye For Now,

bill

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

MANY YEARS AGO

I concluded that the world did not work anymore and wrote about it in many articles now on williampenzer.com.

Yesterday, I screamed the virtues of today's technology and the amazing advances that we have made. Today,  I scream about the world not working very well.

Several weeks ago I ordered a light fixture by phone. After many attempts to track it down, today Lowe's said, "It never got shipped. Will go out tomorrow." Then a long story about some paint samples which we were told were returnable, until we were told they weren't. Watch out for the "work" "If you don't love the color guarantee." Four people defined the rules differently for me including 1 800 customer complaints and over $15 they lost me as a customer.

Then I went to AT&T. I told the check in guy my problem and he said to have a seat. Fifty minutes later the gal said, "This is an Apple issue, not an AT&T one." And why couldn't the guy tell me that when I signed in?" I asked. She had no clue.

DOES ANYONE? Please raise your hand if you have a clue. Not seeing any hands raised. Maybe tomorrow.

Bye for Now,

Bill

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTERALL

When our grandsons were born almost 18 and 16 years ago, communications were limited and distance was difficult.

With our new granddaughter we enjoy text pics and email pics and videos of that famous Itzy Bitsy Spider. In addition, we have FaceTime and Skype live, in her beautiful face, catch ups. Though it is not the same as being there and pinching all four cheeks, it certainly keeps us updated on a daily basis and the most amazing part it is all pretty much free.

Not to mention when I texted a friend wishing she and her family a happy new year, her response came from Bali.

There is no denying that the computer age has its challenges, but it also has its moments of wonderment, fascination, and simple connections. If you don't believe me just send me a text with your opinions.

Bye for Now,

bill

Monday, January 7, 2013

WORDS WOTH READING

It's not what they take away from you that counts:it's what you do with what you have left.

—Hubert Humphrey

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.

—Franklin Roosevelt

(Women too!!)

If people didn't pick on me, I wouldn't be paranoid.

—Anonymous


Years ago I said, "It's not paranoid to be paranoid these days." Even worse now. It's insane not to be paranoid!!

Bye For Now,

bill

Sunday, January 6, 2013

MY BAD

The name of the movie I referenced in two blogs last week is "The Other Son."

Sorry.

Bye For Now,


Bill

Thursday, January 3, 2013

LET'S LAUGH BECAUSE IT IS FRIDAY—ALMOST

My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning we went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called and she wants her sign back!"

The old joke was that Mr. Schwartz was the head of a large company. All day long he heard, "Hello Mr. Schwartz," "Good Morning Mr. Schwartz," "Can I get you coffee or anything Mr. Schwartz?," and the like.

After a long day's work he returned home to be greeted by his wife:" Schmuck, take out the garbage!"

It's not been easy for us guys!

Bye for Now,

Bill

YESTERDAY'S BLOG

Left out one important piece. Namely, the parallels of the family's emotional reactions. Whether Jewish or Palestinian the father's, mother's and young men involved all went through pretty much identical angst. The tough fathers were lame for a long time and the soft mothers managed and coped so much better, so much quicker.

Which proves that our emotional systems operate pretty much the same no matter where we come from, and women are the much stronger,  much more emotionally adaptable, flexible, and congenial sex. That is why, most of the time, they live longer. They are typically "DAM STRONG!" We are typically "DAM WIMPS!" But there is always hope.


Bye For Now,

bill

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A MOVIE WORTH SEEING

"The Other Boy" is a most interesting and compelling movie about two babies who were accidentally switched at birth in Israel. The Jewish baby went to a Palestinian couple and the Palestinian boy went to the Jewish family. Eighteen years later comes the revelation and enough emotion to fill a movie, a few tissues, and complex identity issues for all.

Along the way, one can't help but feel some compassion for the Palestinians, which frankly I think is the main message of the film. However, who we are and who are our parents (who's your daddy?) are themes that are confronted in this fine film.

The biggest criticism I can make is that it wasn't always easy to read the white subtitles against a light border, but who knows, maybe there was a message in that as well.


Bye for Now,

Bill


JUST GOT WORD

There is a fourth fan!!

Justin B u b on the alert as I continue to trend. While I am at it what does anyone c in this dude? If he was anymore full of himself he would barf on stage again. When he came on NYE we went to bed. He makes Pit Bull look good—well better!

OK. I am old. Twelve-year-old prepubescent girls think he is the dreamy sex toy of their much too short short's fantasies. Hopefully, they will grow up soon and cover themselves better and pick a better idol. How about Frankie or Elvis or am I dating myself?

Bye For Now,

bill

ps Oh what fun it is to press "publish" at 10:25 pm. Overcoming habits is a New Year's resolution come true. Now for the tougher ones. Well, maybe next year!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

I will blog when I feel like it. I will post when I write, not at 8:00 AM the next day. My loyal fans (all three) will still like me. The world will go on whether I post or not or won't, but it won't be my fault if it doesn't. I will not care about commas or other punctuation. I will become James Joyce. Well now, that may be stretching it just a bit. I will stay Bill Penzer. Feels more realistric!

May 2013 be the best for you and yours.


Bye for Now,

James—I mean

bill

GOOD WORDS WITH WHICH TO START THE NEW YEAR



Breathe in the future. Breathe out the past.


Bye For Now,

Bill