Wednesday, May 30, 2012


On Monday I spoke of the quote by Mr Caro: "The power of history is in the end the greatest power."

Unfortunately, for the majority of people historical cess plays a stronger role than historical dam grams. For example, i can remember my loving and warm grandmother showing me those feelings in many ways. But I can also remember the times my parents created cess for me—and my parents were far from abusive! But they were nervous, fearful, shy, self-conscious, and vitally concerned with my safety, health, academics, what others thought, etc. All that amounted to a hysterical historical introduction into the world. And grandma's occasional love, while helpful, was not strong enough to neutralize my parent's daily doses of cess. Nor were my parent's occasional lighter, brighter, funner times sufficient to override their more intense and fear focused over protection.

At several crunch times of my life the power of that history outweighed the power of my more rational mind and my Dam.

This is where counseling and therapy comes in. Slowly, it helps people to distance and disconnect from the power of that history and replace those distorted thoughts and feelings with more accurate assessments of self and others. But it is a slow process and we live in a world at a time when speed is of the essence. So people want to be helped in the time frame of a tweet. Unfortunately, that is not yet possible, even with modern meds or cognitive behavioral tools.

As a result, for many, their histories will be haunting and daunting and in the end the greatest power and force with which they will have to reckon. While validating Mr. Caro's comment on a mindly matters level, that my friends, is sad.

Bye for Now,


Monday, May 28, 2012


Last week I was talking about the Cesspool and the Dam as being highly influential in how we function and how we see our lives. I posited that with a strong Dam, even during crunch times, we can keep our inner sun shining brightly.

Then I read an interview with Robert Caro who has devoted his life to being a biographer for Lyndon Johnson—3000 pages and 35 years. He concludes the interview by saying:

                            "The power of history is in the end the greatest power."

Think about that statement relative to your life. I will comment on it on Wednesday.

Bye For Now,


Friday, May 25, 2012


I use this word to represent all of the hurtful temptations that surround us and call our name. There is glop on a plate, in a glass, pill bottle, street drugs, casino, etc. There is glop in a board room and in a  bedroom. You can find glop on any given day in the headlines when the rich and famous or not so rich and famous fail and fall.

Your goal is to avoid glop and eliminate that which has become part of your habits. It is a struggle all the way—but essential to accomplish in your lifetime to maintain a strong Dam and an inner sunny glow.

Keep at it and Never, Never, Never give up until you have achieved your goals. If at first you don't succeed...

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, May 23, 2012


For many years now I have been using a simple model to explain my mind and yours.  We have storage centers in our brains that are made up of the billions of wires that represent our magnificent minds. The Cesspool stores the not so pleasant happenings that we all encountered, while the Dam stores the positive moments of feeling proud, loved, worthy, etc.

Feeding these are our shame and blame accounts which convert to cess based upon our glopful ways and our pride bank which feed our Dam. The secret to life is to avoid glop and behave in ways which cause us to feel proud. That keeps the Dam strong and our inner sun shining despite the outer pressures we all face.

Easier said than done, but eminently doable.

More about Glop on Friday.

Bye for Now,


Monday, May 21, 2012


Apropos of Friday's blog, it is not always easy to keep your inner sun  shining through the rough bumps life throws at us. Financial upheavals, health issues, relationship challenges, loss of loved ones, and the like present major clouds and gray emotional skies. I have been there more times than I care to remember.

This is where my battle cry of "DAM STRONG!" came from. In order to overcome the challenges of our lives and maintain an inner sunny spirit, what I call our dams need to be strong and resilient.

More about this next blog.

Bye for Now,


ps  Given that I am posting 12 times or more a month on facebook page (Please "like" it if you haven't already) and working day and night to finish the book for the patient, I am cutting back these blogs temporarily to Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Did I just hear a loud groan of disappointment or was that a truck going by?

pps Happy Birthday today to my son, David, who somehow is older than I feel!

Friday, May 18, 2012


It has been another rainy week in paradise from morning to night.

I have come to believe that while the outside sun is nice, it is our inner sun that makes a big difference.

Try to develop an inner glow, no matter what challenges you face. I believe you will find that your inner sun shiny feelings will guide your day and way far better than gloom and doom and inner clouds of gray.

Have a sunny weekend, no matter the weather outdoors.

Bye for now,


Thursday, May 17, 2012


Bernie Siegel, M.D. says, "No matter the problem throw love at it and it will help."

This is an interesting idea. Apply it today in some way and see if he is correct.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Most people say that as you get old, you have to give up things. I think you get old because you give up things.
—Theodore Francis Green

I agree completely. The only thing I would like to give up is my waist line. Where are you size 30 dungarees? I guess they are still around but I am still too round! Working on it.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, May 15, 2012


I shall resume regular blogs tomorrow.

Today's thought is simply to feel grateful for the little things. I was grateful to go safely and return safely and for all the good things that happened in between.

I was grateful to meet so many wonderful people and grateful for the opportunity to be helpful.

What are you grateful for today and everyday? As i have said before Gratitude helps your Attitude.

Bye For Now,


Monday, May 14, 2012

My meeting with Bernie Siegel, M.D. could not have gone better. About six weeks ago after we scheduled this meeting I drafted the last chapter for the book for the patient. It is called "On the Making of Miracles." It begins "I met with Bernie Siegel, M.D. on a warm and sunny spring day." Friends who read the chapter asked what I would do if it wasn't a sunny day? My reply was, "Even if it is pouring rain, it will be a sunny day for me, although I'm pretty sure it will be a sunny day." And it was.

We sat in his backyard like two former high school buddies and talked back and forth for one-and-a-half hours. It was non-stop energy and Bernie was on a roll as he gave me a guided tour of his ideas and their origins. "I learned it all by observing my exceptional patients," he said—"especially the ones who weren't supposed to make it but did. They taught me how powerful our minds can be in healing our bodies."

Since publishing "How to Cope Better When Someone You Love Has Cancer," Ronnie and i have taken to wearing purple, especially at cancer related events, as if to match the book. Bernie, an artist, said the color purple symbolized being open to spiritual growth and understanding. And I was.

As we concluded he got up first, his chair had broken and he lost his balance, and was about to fall backwards into his lovely garden. I quickly reached out and steadied him for a moment or two until he regained his balance. It was symbolic of us supporting each other during this empowering meeting. As I was leaving his warm home filled and oozing with love he said, "As long as you wear purple you're welcome back anytime." What a mensch! What a very special sunny spring day!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

What a powerful, inspiring, loving, and connected experience I had at Stowe VT Weekend of Hope. 350+ strong came, saw, enjoyed, and became even more empowered. They all rode off on a horse i call HOPE!

Never before did I start out as a newcomer and was so quickly and caringly embraced as a full-fledged member of this amazing community.

Never before did I meet so many strong and positive people under one roof. It all blew me away and i would like to believe i did the same for them.

More to come about this inspiring experience.

Hats off to the city of Stowe and  all who spent countless hours to make this magical weekend happen for those in Cancerville.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


Heading today for Stowe Vt Weekend of Hope for cancer patients and their care givers (whom I like to call "heart and soul" givers). I will be addressing the entire group Friday night and the  h&s folk from 1-230 Saturday.

No daily blogs till 5/14 so Happy Ma's Day to all for whom that day is special. I will do my best to blog from Stowe and update you.

Bye (literally) for Now,


PS Have someone house sitting so don't get any silly ideas.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Unusual weather for South Florida. Raining every day just about all day with strong winds at the beach. We have had such beautiful weather the last month or so and are so spoiled in that department.

So, rather than let the rain get you down remember "April showers bring May flowers."

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, May 1, 2012


The other day I watched my wife make airline reservations on line, use miles to pay for them, and choose seats. It took about twelve minutes. And even when the computer said, "failed try again" it did not and all went through without a hitch. Sometimes, our computers just like to play with our minds—sneaky devils that they are!

I couldn't help remember the days when , as a travel agent, she would sometimes spend hours  talking to airline employees to accomplish the same thing dealing with dropped calls midway through, phone operators who could barely speak the language, and having to hand write tickets before delivering them personally to the flyer.

It truly is a whole new world.

Bye For now,