Monday, April 16, 2012

DIVORCE PART I

See Friday's blog for the intro to this week.

I have never liked the idea of divorce. Keep in mind I come from a generation where "you made your bed and must lie in it." But i came to believe as a psychologist, that the wrinkles in those bedsheets could be ironed out with a little counseling or coaching.

Also remember that I have been married for 48 years and danced with my wife at her sweet sixteen which makes us "dinosaurs" in every way.  See articles I wrote that go back 30 years at williampenzer.com that are Marriage and Divorce Parts I -IV. I said then and I will say now that Marriage and Divorce are both unnatural acts. Your choice!

But when you have young children, you have a responsibility to try to make your marriage work before you abandon it. But can you believe, that even though people pay me well, they don't always listen to me well? Too often, a couple's love turns to hate and resentment over time as communication shuts down to the most superficial of levels. This in turn, leads to a variety of less than helpful, quite dysfunctional alternatives. Please try to avoid them as well as any "delusions" that your new s/he will make it all right. Most of the time such choices make it all wrong once again. Time will tell and like many you may regret your impulsive and momentarily self-serving choices of desperation!

More tomorrow.

Bye For Now,

 Bill

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