Monday, April 30, 2012


After bashing my way thru Technoville last week an apology is in order. We spent the weekend editing the new book as the weather here was rain awful.
Thank goodness for cut/copy and paste. And I hope you are duly impressed that I know how to do that.

Bye For Now,


Friday, April 27, 2012


for now!

No I didn't follow Bernie's advice and break everything. I just realized for every benefit there are some costs and side effects.

Technoland , on its worst day, is still amazing. It provides opportunities for people, groups, and even nations, never before available. And, no one cares about spelling or punctuation anymore.

When you are struggling with whatever techno problem befalls you, just think that Hitler's Germany would have been quickly defused and demolished had there been email, texts, twitter, etc.

Bernie Siegel, M.D. encourages us to find the blessings surrounding our curses. Being able to enjoy all of the benefits of technology today, more than makes up for the occasional curse—not to mention not having to worry about spelling! Pls thats a blessin untoo itself as i am sure u wl agre.

Now, let's just hope this posts tomorrow, so I am not cursing. Set your alarms to check at 8am.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, April 26, 2012


Our son sent a text with a pic on Sunday. It arrived yesterday—two days late. Must have been screwed up at the post office. Oh, wait, there is no PO just a lot of PO'ed people these days.

And many of my wife's I phone messages disappeared before her very eyes today for no reason. And when you ask a techie they all say, "Sometimes, cyber space makes no sense whatsoever." This is not comforting to us older folk, nor is it an explanation. Sounds more like dodge ball. Those were the days.

This is why my friend Bernie said, "If it ain't broke, break it."  Welcome to the 21st Century." I seem to be good at breaking it, even when I am following the same "rules" i have been for all these years.

OK  Enough BS  Let's see if this posts tomorrow at 8 a.m.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Just when I finally overcome the timing problem, the blog site changes the format that I have come to love. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Now, I will never know how to post this blog which says nothing other than the progress of technology, can sometimes be regress.

My wish for all sites: Please leave well enough alone—especially for us old folks!

Bye for Now,

ps now what do I do?

pps this happened once before and then switched back in four days.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


If it comes up at 8:00 a.m. my voice is back. If not, the people at Google will have to explain this to my vast fan base.

I have received more complaints than I can count—ok just one but thank you Bernie for being a loyal and devoted blog fan.

I am sure there are more of you out there in cyberspace. Let me hear from you so I don't feel so alone. Me against Google is as bit of a David and Goliath adventure. Then again, I can handle it.

Finishing up "How to Cope Better When You Have Cancer." May you never need to read it.

Bye for Now,


Sunday, April 22, 2012


For all of this time I have scheduled posts and they have reliably come up at the appointed time. Last week all heck broke loose and my scheduled blogs failed to appear leading tens of thousands to complain. Well okay just one person but still.

So I await a fix from my gurus of techno and until that comes my voice is silenced. I can hear the communal  moan now. It sounds like a helicopter right above my house. Actually, that is what it is! Must be symbolic of my plight! Please hang on.

Bye for Now,


Friday, April 20, 2012

The Ten Commandments of Divorce When You Have Children


1.     Work hard to be cooperative co-parents.
2.     Never, ever say negative things about your former spouse.
3.     Always let your child (ren) know that your love for them will always be there.
4.     If you make a commitment to see/be with your child (ren) keep it—no matter what!
5.     Do not use your child (ren) as a go between or to displace your own angst re your former spouse onto them.
6.     Maintain appropriate communications regarding the child (ren) and always be civil, courteous, and kind.
7.     Participate together in all important child (ren) related decisions and events.
8.     Be flexible regarding visitations, holidays, monies, etc. Just not worth the fight.
9.     Celebrate together whenever possible and never say, “If your father/mother comes, I’m not!”
10. Recognize that despite your other failings as a couple, you have created someone (s) very special who loves you both very much and needs your love back—always and forever.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


to bring an important message to our secret service and armed forces, who usually serve our great nation and the President so well:

                                       THERE AIN'T NO F'IN SECRETS ANYMORE!!!


The same, by the way, holds true for you. Watch your back and do yourself a service by not having any secrets.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Those who danced to "Love is a Many Splendored Thing," or some such thing, may be now be fast dancing to the tune of "Love is a Many Squandered/ Squalid Thing!"

THINK! about your choices and decisions. Try your best not to be selfish or delusional. Try as well to be positive and proactive. Many, who impulsively divorce, wish they stayed with their original partner, after serially making many mistakes. A few find a more satisfying mate—but only a few!

Whomever said, "Love is Blind!"  was undeniably correct. Check out your emotional contact lenses, and make the right decision for all concerned—or suffer the consequences.

Bye for Now,

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Understandable sometimes.

Questionable sometimes.

Ridiculous sometimes.

Painful always.

Hurtful to children undeniably and forever.

Complicated usually.

Selfish sometimes.

Hurtful to the adults involved almost always.

Makes a mockery of the love once felt always.

Feeds divorce attorneys absolutely always.

Is necessary sometimes.

Is silly or short sighted often.

Is about other "loves" that are almost always illusions.

Is often avoidable—if both partners come to the "bargaining" table with an open, honest, and healing mind.

Bye for Now,


Monday, April 16, 2012


See Friday's blog for the intro to this week.

I have never liked the idea of divorce. Keep in mind I come from a generation where "you made your bed and must lie in it." But i came to believe as a psychologist, that the wrinkles in those bedsheets could be ironed out with a little counseling or coaching.

Also remember that I have been married for 48 years and danced with my wife at her sweet sixteen which makes us "dinosaurs" in every way.  See articles I wrote that go back 30 years at that are Marriage and Divorce Parts I -IV. I said then and I will say now that Marriage and Divorce are both unnatural acts. Your choice!

But when you have young children, you have a responsibility to try to make your marriage work before you abandon it. But can you believe, that even though people pay me well, they don't always listen to me well? Too often, a couple's love turns to hate and resentment over time as communication shuts down to the most superficial of levels. This in turn, leads to a variety of less than helpful, quite dysfunctional alternatives. Please try to avoid them as well as any "delusions" that your new s/he will make it all right. Most of the time such choices make it all wrong once again. Time will tell and like many you may regret your impulsive and momentarily self-serving choices of desperation!

More tomorrow.

Bye For Now,


Friday, April 13, 2012


I want to talk about divorce. I have never been except vicariously one thousand or more times as I coach couples to try and avoid that trap. But not everyone listens to me and not all couples are able to avoid it.

Divorce is like an explosion. It rips through homes and families and leaves toxic waste and emotional pollution in its path. More on Monday. If you can't avoid it, please try to make it a peaceful one. Like all war zones, divorce can be damaging to all involved.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, April 12, 2012


The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
—Harry S. Truman

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


I texted someone today and wished them a Happy Easter. I hadn't heard from, seen, or thought about the person in more than six months.

The response I received was, "I was thinking about you today and I don't often think about you." My response was " Same here so I must have picked up your signals."

Coincidence or higher powers sending signals?  I believe it is the latter. You can believe as you feel and need. Meanwhile, I will keep my antennae high so send me a message wirelessly!

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, April 10, 2012


There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self.
—Benjamin Franklin

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.
—Sally Field

There are three ingredients in the good life:learning, earning, and yearning.
—Christopher Morley

All self-explanatory.

Bye For Now,


Monday, April 9, 2012


We had four non Jewish people at our Seder for Passover. The energy was strong and positive. We spoke of Syria and other countries where freedom is just another word for abuse and destruction. So sad. We spoke of Israel's new missile defense system that is amazing. It gauges where the missile will land and if it is likely to hit a building or home it sends a missile to swallow it—pac man style!

And we laughed and enjoyed and shared and had all of the traditional trimmings replete with explanations for what they symbolized. A really good time was had by all. It shows that we are all of one God with slightly different points of emphasis. The parallels between Passover and Easter are undeniable as are those between Christmas and Hanukkah. Not to mention that The Last Supper was a Passover Seder.

May we someday all live in peace together as we did at our Seder table.

Bye for Now,


Friday, April 6, 2012


I wish this to you this weekend.

Faith needs to blend so that we can accept all under one holy roof and celebrate separately and together.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, April 5, 2012


Einstein's three rules of work:

1 Out of clutter, find simplicity;
2 From discord, find harmony;
3.In difficulty, find opportunity.

and one more from me:

4. When in doubt, open a bagel restaurant!

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Without a keyboard one can be truly lost in today's world. You can click on but you can't respond to.It felt as if I lost my voice!

My family makes fun of me for strongly pounding the keys.They wonder if it is a form of aggression even though I am a peace loving man. It is a form of old habits die young.

What they fail to remember is that I am a Remington/Royal typewriter guy. Though college and grad school I had to pound the keys of my little non-electric typewriters to make sure the print showed. Do you know how many bottles of white out I went through in my academic career? It wasn't till I got to IBM in the late '60's that the first electric selectric typewriters appeared. They allowed for auto corrects and a lighter touch. But I had a secretary back then and never learned the lighter way to type.

So, when my keyboard died last night I bought a new one today, thinking i had killed my old one that had served me well. The new one didn't work either."We cannot find a wireless keyboard," said the message repeatedly. But my Bluetooth mouse was moving like a real one.  Panic time! Please don't ever cut me off from my word dealer as I am a word junkie.

So my tech assistant walked me through many steps by phone, none of which helped. In desperation he said, "Shut off your computer." It would not shut off. It was being as stubborn as a teen in a twit. Finally, I pulled the ultimate switch and pressed the belly button—always scary to mess with. The screen went dark and when I turned it back on, it found the old keyboard in a heartbeat.

This reminded me of my friend, Billy, who once said, "When in doubt take the plug out!" Some times in today's world to turn on we have to turn it off. That's not the way it used to be, but oh well, progress makes for a new world order. Now, if I can only get my audio to play on videos. But, hey, you can't have everything in techno land. At least, my voice came back so I can continue to pound away!

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, April 3, 2012


There are no coincidences—just possibilities and opportunities. The not so coincidental linkages in life that I keep running into are amazing, astounding and mind boggling.

Here is but one example. A mutual friend networked me to Harvey, a man battling cancer and I interview him for the next book for cancer patients. We become fast friends over lunch. Unbeknownst to us, he and I have another mutual friend that we both know for over 30 years. But that is only the beginning.

At lunch, he told me about the Weekend of Hope in Stowe VT for cancer patients and their support net. We try to communicate with them as I want to present a workshop without much success. I go and present at a conference in Miami for clinicians and meet one of the committee people from the Stowe weekend and she comes to my talk, likes it, invites me to Stowe, and also gives me an amazing personal story for the book for the patients.

I hope you are still with me as it takes yet another turn. My wife and I meet Harvey and his lovely wife  for dinner as we are all avid travelers. I encourage them to check out the "Modern Day Fairytale" on the website, which shows our daughter's wedding in a Maasai Village in 2009. They, like everyone else, love it and watch it twice. But the twists of this tale don't end there.

Harvey has gone to Stowe VT every year for 40 or more years because he loves it there. He even subscribes to their newspaper—The Stowe Reporter. Yesterday he sent me an article from their March 15, 2012 edition telling that Stowe VT had a fundraiser to guessed it.... the Maasai people.


Bye for Now,


Monday, April 2, 2012


I recently spoke with a lovely lady who told me about her adult granddaughter. She is a successful business woman, determined to teach her young son valuable life lessons.

So her five year old has a "job." Each day, his job is to open the blinds in the morning. For that job she pays him a nickel—a little less than minimum wage! Wait till he finds out. I smell lawsuit!

So great grandma sent him a complimentary note for clean plate club and a dollar. He called her to thank her. He said, "GG (great grandma) thank you so much for the dollar. Do you know that is twenty nickels? Wow, I have to "work" twenty days for that much and you sent that to me all at once. Thank you!" The child has the making of a hedge fund entrepreneur. How much is a billion or two billion dollars in nickels?

We need to teach our children, grand children, and great grand children values instead of feelings of entitlement and this woman has found a simple way to do that and  I applaud her for doing so!

Bye for Now,