Friday, December 21, 2012


This morning, as they read each name of the 20 beautiful little children killed and rang the bell after each name, I had to walk out of the room. I meant no disrespect, but found the memorial much too emotional and beyond any words I could possibly write.

Sometimes, we need to walk on by, both to move forward as well as not to dwell on that which is beyond our understanding, sensitivity, and sensibility.

Much as I believe I have a keen understanding of the human mind, there are some scenarios that absolutely make no sense to me. I am sure they make no sense to you either.

May life in all areas make more sense in 2013 and beyond and may you be well, safe and happy in the new year.

Bye For Now,


ps unless I have something to say that just can't wait I will be back on January 2.

Thursday, December 20, 2012


Tomorrow is one week since the Newtown tragedy and I am still very sad and I am sure you are too.

Yet, children went back to school, adults went back into the world, movie theaters, planes, restaurants, churches, and just about every place will fill over winter break. Life in all spheres will go on for us all. Unfortunately, nothing will truly console the families who lost loved ones—ever! Time may ease but never heals all wounds.

That said, I have always been impressed with our ability to stare tragedy and trauma in the face and assume "it will not happen to us," or our loved ones.  I call this our healthy denial mechanism. It enables us to observe and know that "bad things happen to good people" and still venture forth into the universe as a good person.

Once upon a time I had agoraphobia as my degree did not come with a vaccine attached. Back then there was no safe space. Every zone of my life was filled with dangerous potentials (real and imagined) and every zone of my being was flooded with anxiety. I am happy to say I got past that nightmarish time and it never returned.

For those of us who can embrace "healthy denial" we can drive on highways that we know house head-on collisions, fly in airplanes or go on cruise ships that occasionally go down, walk into public spaces that sometimes become scenes of destruction, and do our very best to engage calmly, optimistically, and comfortably.

Without that healthy denial mechanism no one would drive a car, or leave their homes, and all children would be home schooled.

The evil doers of the world can scare us, hurt us, and even kill us, but they cannot kill the human spirit that enables us to move steadily forward despite the obstacles and dangers that are out there.

May the evil doers of the future kill themselves before, not after, they have hurt and killed others.

May the holidays and new year be a safe and peaceful time for you and those you love.

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, December 19, 2012


I have received many inquiries regarding the mental health factor in the Connecticut tragedy and all the others that preceded it. One very eloquent, intelligent student wondered why all the focus was being placed on gun control rather than mental health control.

My view is both are relevant, and neither are subject to or ever will be under very much control. Surely we can make it harder to obtain guns, especially the "mass destruction" kinds. But destruction comes in many, too many, different forms, especially for those who are seeking their fame and exit in bizarre and grotesque ways.

Similarly, I am pretty convinced that if a panel of mental health professionals interviewed the perp on Thursday, they would not likely realize the depth of his pathology, or the plan he had been plotting for some time. These are highly intelligent, strategic people who are not psychotic in the traditional sense of that term. Many have been desensitized to reality by playing too many violent video games and/or watching shoot-em up movies that our society produces serially. Surely, we can't hospitalize all video gamers, for the very small number who decide, at some critical time, to switch from their X-box controls to going wildly out of control. It is not easy to know just how much rage sits silently within a person or how it might be discharged. Some of the most successful people are volcanoes who explode positively and productively, while others go in the totally opposite direction.

Similarly, I think autism and Aspergers has received a really bum rap in all this. People who have to deal with this are more the victims of violence than the perpetrators of same. The media has been a little lame in their efforts to link this heinous crime to that spectrum of disorders. Someone with social awkwardness does not typically switch into sociopathy.

In fact, though I understand their dilemma, the media may very well be the most serious catalyst of all. To all those alienated folks who feel like losers and who feel like their lives are a total waste, there is much appeal to their grasping fame posthumously, by playing a disgraceful game of " I can top this!" Ergo the term copycat criminals. Double ergo, much as I am the eternal optimist, I am not sure there is really a way to control this nightmare that has invaded our society.

Our best defense may just be by maintaining vigilance personally and by deploying security in public places at higher levels than ever before.

I am sad for the children and families of Newtown and worried for children and families in the future. Not exactly an ideal way to head into the holidays and the new year. Time will tell and I most fervently hope I am wrong about the above—but I strongly fear I am not.

Bye For now,


Tuesday, December 18, 2012


and appreciation to those of you who read my daily blogs and worry when I don't post.

All's well, very well in fact, but I needed a breather after my emotional posts related to the CT tragedies.

I am working on building a bridge between those and getting back to my inspiring efforts to find the brighter spaces of our lives.

Sometimes, chaos and crazy-making sucks the oxygen out of my realistic optimism philosophy and throws me right off the horse I call Hope. I get back on pretty quickly, especially for an older guy—but hey, sometimes it takes a day or two!

More tomorrow.

Bye for now,


Sunday, December 16, 2012


Pretty little faces lost for naught,
Tear filled parents lost in their grief,
Our president lost in his own deep emotions,
A nation lost and divided on the second amendment,
So many of us lost on how to help and contain the seriously mentally ill,
A world that has lost the lines between reality and the consequences of violence and videogames, TV shows, songs, etc.,
We need to get found or get used to the tears, the pain, and the constant worry,
There is much to be done.

Saturday, December 15, 2012


As our eyes begin to dry, there are many families in CT and elsewhere whose tears still flow.

As our eyes begin to dry, the rage of the angels floods us with anger.

As our eyes begin to dry, a world sighs audibly and ponders unanswerable questions.

As our eyes begin to dry, we ever more cautiously step back out into the world.

As our eyes begin to dry, we pray silently for all involved, and for humankind to finally become involved in making necessary changes in gun control.

As our eyes begin to dry, new tears form just below the surface.

Friday, December 14, 2012


How can we not cry at the devastating news that 28 people were killed for no apparent reason today, 20 of them being elementary school children?

How can we not cry for the families—the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins—of these children and adults?

How can we not cry for a world gone so wild, that people who are criminally insane can so easily obtain weapons of "mass destruction?"

How can we not cry when the unthinkable becomes a weekly event?

How can we not cry when for so many, in a microsecond of time, the holidays have become hell days of unfathomable pain and torment?

How can we not cry when the "terrorists" are us?

Maybe, as I age, I am just getting soft, but I for one needed to cry! How can we not?

Prayers to us all,



politicians represented the people and their constituents. Now they represent their party. Takes me back to the 60's slogan "Power to the people." We had it then and we need to regain it now.

Bye For Now,


Thursday, December 13, 2012


Diagnostic and Statistical Manual coming after many years of hard work.
Greed needs to become a diagnostic category. It is rampant in our world, sad to say.

Fill your pride bank if you earn your money the old fashioned way—honorably!

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, December 12, 2012


to hear about the 25 year old Dallas Cowboy killed in a car accident Saturday night.

When I told my grandsons that a car is a lethal weapon, I was never sure they got it. Hope they get it now and that you do too.

Time to stop drinking, drugging,  texting, talking and otherwise being distracted/impaired while driving. Your life and mine is on the line!

Bye for Now,


12/12/12 Concert

Very inspiring on many levels. Sandy did so much damage and hurt so many so nice to see so many come together.

The older crowd got my attention. Mick is our hero as are so many others who have paid their dues, but keep coming back for the good of the cause. Go Bruce, Joel, The Who and all the others whose tee shirt reads "I'm still standing and moving and singing..."

Keep rebuilding NYC and NJ and all other affected places pummeled by bitch Sandy!

Bye For Now,


ps In my next life can I have Mick's waist??

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


to watch the Sunday nite football game and see the snow falling. It is a special treat for us South Floridians.

Bye For Now,


Monday, December 10, 2012


It's easier to have the vigor of youth when you're old than the wisdom of age when you're young.

—Richard Needham

So very true. Wisdom and vigor keep us young. A lack of wisdom and vigor when we are young keep us making many mistakes. The key is to only make a mistake once. That's wisdom personified.

Bye for Now,


Friday, December 7, 2012


I don't like getting older, but I do like living longer. I'll take the Yin for the Yang!

Bye for Now,


Thursday, December 6, 2012


If I have to be old, I want to be as healthy as I possibly can be. No wheel chair or walker, no aid, no obesity and a reasonably working brain.

Will all that fit on a tee shirt? Certainly not if I lose weight.

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, December 5, 2012


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.

I think I mind, but it still doesn't matter.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, December 4, 2012


How can I be OLD? I haven't grown up yet!!!

Now or never. Never is not so bad.

Bye for now,


Monday, December 3, 2012


Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Moi Aussi!

Bye for Now,


Friday, November 30, 2012


An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

—Irv Kupcinet

Or any day between T day and New year's Eve.  Call me a cock-eyed optimist then. My 3022nd diet began on Black Friday. I thought that when everything is at a discount perhaps i could get my waist to be reduced too.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, November 29, 2012


Monday is an interesting day to walk in the park after a busy weekend. The detritus left there tells the tale. Empty water bottles strewn all of the basketball courts along with shirts, towels, a new looking pair of sneakers and socks, and assorted snack wrappers. Almost looks as bad as the men's locker room at the gym.

In the park itself we find one child's shoe, a soccer ball floating in the canal, a shopping cart from Walmart, two picnic blankets, beer cans and a used condom. All in all in seems like it was a fun weekend in the park.

Perhaps you can download the video from Utube!

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, November 28, 2012


Since Saturday I could share too many instances of people acting like jerks. Some are just silly, some are malicious and some come from deep feelings of inadequacy, like the traffic monitor at the Tampa airport, that yelled at us for stopping for one minute to load our bags. Give someone a badge and they feel like Dick Tracy. Sad that they often act like they forgot the last name!

I choose to believe that most people are good and kind hearted and act and react appropriately. There are less than 10% who are malformed and aren't able to do the right thing at the right time. Rather than feel angry, let's strive to feel compassionate for they will continue to mess up over and over and ultimately make a mess of their lives over and over.

What goes around comes around. Do good and good will track you like a puppy. Do bad and bad will bite you like a pit bull.

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, November 27, 2012


This is the lesson. Never give in...never, never, never,never, nothing great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honor or good taste.

—Winston Churchill

I would have thought that generals, fbi agents and the like would have read those lines and memorized them! Must have missed that line at the Point, even though that is really the point!

Bye For Now,


Monday, November 26, 2012


Caught a show in St. Pete on Friday nite called "This is the 60's"  Was a multimedia retrospective review with a great cover band that could sound like Peter, Paul and Mary, John Lennon or Led Zep or anyone else for that matter.

If you have an opportunity I would encourage your seeing it, especially  if you are from back in the day.

Bye For Now,


Monday, November 19, 2012


Sorry I didn't post on Friday. I was busy enjoying my new beautiful granddaughter Samantha Rose aka Sami born last Thursday. Mom and baby doing very well.
I will resume posting the Monday after Thanksgiving.

We have much to be thankful for and I hope you do to.

Bye For Now,


Friday, November 16, 2012


I endeavor to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be bad, content with what cannot be mended and patient when there is no redress.

—Elizabeth Montaqu

Think about it!

Bye for Now,


Thursday, November 15, 2012


between anxiety, panic, and excitement. The latter is fun while the former are agitating and unnerving.

Be excited every day and try to not be anxious or panicked. The unknown can be scary or it can be wonderful. Try to see the mystery and magic of life as the latter. It is, after all, a wonderful world—most of the time. If you don;t believe me just ask Satchmo.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, November 14, 2012


to the victims of Sandy. The pics still look ugly and sad. The people have been through the mill. Home after home, car after car lost. Still 100,000 with no electric 2 weeks later.  My friends still don't know if their condo on the Jersey Shore survived. My daughter just got TV, phone and email back last nite, but that seems a small price to pay relative to others. My friends are still in a hotel in NJ with a rental car as theirs drowned and their elevator is not working to get them to their 10th floor apartment. In fact, their building may be condemned due to damage to beams in the garage that help hold the building up.

Ansd to add insult to injury 70% of Venice, Italy is under water for the second time in a month.

Our prayers and our support need to go to those who are still struggling and suffering.

Let us hope that Mother Nature calms herself down for the rest of the winter—OHMMM!

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, November 13, 2012


For several days after my first book was published I carried it about in my pocket, and took surreptitious peeps at it to make sure the ink had not faded.

—William Faulkner

Man oh man can I relate to that!

Bye For Now,


Friday, November 9, 2012


I am a guy who used to go to the Surrey movie theater on Mt. Eden Ave  or the Luxor on 170th Street, both in the Bronx NY.  A quarter—25 cents—would get me in on a Saturday afternoon and that included a newsreel and several cartoons including the main feature. And I could sit in the smoking section on the right and smoke, feeling like a BMOC at age 14. Silly but true. I won't even tell you what the hotdogs, fries, and a coke before the movie cost.

Last Saturday, we took our grandson to see a 3-D cartoon about a video game character who comes to life. The movie was okay, but the tab was not! It cost $35.50 for three of us after an AARP discount—without a drink or popcorn. That, my friends, is silly too. There was no newsreel or cartoon, but there was too many previews stretching out to 2014.

It is no wonder, in these challenging times, that movies are not doing too well. There needs to be a relationship between value added and value charged. Or, people like me, will not keep overpaying.

Bye For Now,


Thursday, November 8, 2012


Cartoon in Wednesday's Sun Sentinel by Lowe titled "THE DAY AFTER."

Couple sitting on couch watching TV.

He says, "I never thought I'd actually be glad to see erectile dysfunction ads again."

She says, "At least they're uplifting."

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, November 7, 2012


what it is like to be Mitt or Barack at this very moment—4:45 pm on Tuesday 11/6.

Having logged tens of thousands of hours, spend literally a billion plus dollars each, travelled the country shouting out their messages, distorted as they might be, what does it feel like to wait for the results and silently wonder who has won and who has lost? Who will live in the White House and who will be in the outhouse?

I hear Ryan S. in my mind saying, "America has voted..." But this is no singing contest. This is a contest that will determine America's future and fate for the next four years. It will also determine the future and fate of the candidates, as well as my children's and grand children's. In an election there is no second place—there is only winner take all and four years from now for the loser to regroup—if even they can.

The beauty of the event lies in the democratic process itself. I came in touch with that as we waited 2+ hours to cast our vote in what seemed like an antiquated system. At least there will be no "hanging chads" in Florida this time!

May the man win who is better positioned to lead us forward. Despite all of the rhetoric, angry ads, debates, phone calls and the like, I still have no clue as to who that may be, but time will tell. Once upon a time there was passion in my vote. Now there is only compassion for them both. I wonder what they are thinking and feeling right this minute. Push aside the veil of confidence and there has to be total angst and agitation. Someone will be feeling awfully frustrated and foolish by morning. It can't be otherwise as no one likes to lose, especially when the stakes are so high and the investment "all in."

I trust the system. At the end of the day, that is all one can do.

God bless America and God bless us all.

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, November 6, 2012


If you are relieved to not receive any more political ads, phone calls, mail flyers, door hangers, etc.

I for one definitely am!

Bye for Now,


Monday, November 5, 2012


which is not always known for wisdom. Most of what I read/see there is silly as in "Je ne care pas!"

"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday."

So very true and so very difficult to do but definitely doable.

Bye for Now,


Friday, November 2, 2012

The Art of Racing In The Rain

by Garth Stein is an amazingly good read written in the voice of a dog, Enzo. He is a very wise dog indeed.

Racing and Rain are metaphors for life and its slippery conditions. It packs a punch of wisdom on just about every page.

Bye For Now,


Thursday, November 1, 2012


i just saw the pics of the ravaging damage of Sandy all over New York and New Jersey. It is truly heartbreaking to see people's homes and possessions, not to mention lives, destroyed by overwhelming water surges. It is hard to imagine their angst and pain, and the long sandy road ahead.

The one disquieting footnote to an already disquieting scene is that the political ads and phone calls keep coming like a water surge. Pull the freaking ads already or change them to "My heart and help goes out to the victims of Sandy."

The sad truth is that neither man deserves this most important and prestigious job and that is the dilemma we face come Tuesday next. Whomever wins, is in my opinion, already a loser.

God bless America and God bless the people of the storm, which was far from perfect!

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, October 31, 2012


came a couple of days early this year and it was only a trick and never a treat.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all who were affected and hurt by Sandy—one bitch of a storm.

Odd and fortunate for us that South Florida dodged her bullet, but sad and sorry the northeast and other areas took the hit.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, October 30, 2012


If you don't manage your life well, your life will manage your life not so well and will likely mangle you in the process.

Now is the time to take charge and manage it with strength and character. Make that your mantra from now on. Be the CEO of your self.

Bye For now,


Monday, October 29, 2012


This morning on my walk, I heard the great Platters song of old "The Great Pretender." It made me think of all the phonies, liars, cheats and the like that roam our streets and take advantage of innocent people.
Now here this: Be on red alert! They are smooth, swift, cunning, likeable, but very dishonest. Check people out thoroughly. In today's world it is not so hard to do.
But the con men and women of the world have a way of razzle dazzling us that encourages us to by pass that due diligence vetting process.
The old caveat is still true, "Let the buyer be ware." As my mom used to say, "Figures don't lie, but liars can figure!" All the more reason for us all to do our homework.

Bye for Now,


Friday, October 26, 2012


sometimes fly right over my head like a jet plane. But the one yesterday in the SS hit home.

It shows a couple in bed. On the left is Mitt and on the right is Obama (should be the other way around—no?). They are in their PJ's. The woman says, "Would you two consider leaving if we voted early?"

ENOUGH ALREADY! Sometimes it seems that the race for the job starts the day after the inauguration. In many ways it does. Still think my plan of a 5 year term, done and out makes sense.

God bless America as we can use all the help we can muster, but it is still the greatest country in the world.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, October 25, 2012


Sandoval for the Giants hit three home runs last night in the World Series Game 1. He joins a small, elite group of superstars who have achieved that goal.

Truth be told, you can hit three homers, in your own fashion, tomorrow.

I am rooting for you. GO you!

Bye for now,


Wednesday, October 24, 2012


In looking at Sunday's paper—local section—here are the headlines and info that appeared:

"Pair discuss burglary in patrol car," which was caught on internal car video as they passed a joint back and forth in the back seat. Party hearty with a joint on the way to the joint, while admitting to the crime and details. Really? That's bad stuff they b smokin!

"Thief targets assisted living facilities" Never disrespect older folk, especially since I am getting up there! Really!

"Online child-sex sting nets 23 men, including doctor."  Really?

"Man exposes self to family at mini-golf" Adds a whole new dimension to the term birdie! Takes balls to do that—really!

"Woman likes bologna maybe a bit too much." Lady arrested for repeatedly calling 911 to say how much she enjoyed the sandwiches when in jail. Perhaps she wanted more and she got them. She must be full of you know what!

"Overdue library book bars her homecoming." A high school principal barred a freshman from going to her school's homecoming because of an overdue library book. Considering the above she should have been the homecoming queen! The principal, on the other hand, was full of bologna! Really.

Somewhere, buried in  the above I am trying to make a point, but I'll be darned of I know exactly what it is. Either people are getting stranger or I am getting older and finding it harder to make sense out of nonsense or perhaps d) all of the above and more.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, October 23, 2012


that I will say nothing. Nice to see a Democrat and a Republican agree on so much.

I would like to see them as co-presidents, especially since they really seemed to like each other before and after the debate.

My vote is for the moderator.

Bye for now,


Monday, October 22, 2012

PLEASE GO TO facebook page, if u haven't already, and "like" and check it out.

The book for the patient, "How to Cope Better When You Have Cancer," is now available. Hope you only need to read it out of curiosity.

Be well.

Bye for now,


Friday, October 19, 2012


So what if I just say, "America is the greatest country in the world," no matter who is or becomes the President.

We are greater than our leader and lead the world, even if our leader doesn't quite man up. Someday, it will take a woman to clean up the mess. But even with some messes we shine and stand tall. God bless the US of A!

 Bye for Now,


Thursday, October 18, 2012


Honesty is always the best policy but many people don't always live up to that standard. Fill your "pride bank" if you do.

I always liked the line, "Pigs get fatter but hogs get slaughtered!" Commit to never being a hog.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, October 17, 2012


When they call the roll in the senate, the Senators, do not know whether to answer "present" or "not guilty."

—Theodore Roosevelt

Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the friction of social contacts.

—Clare Booth Luce

There is only one thing about which I am certain, and that is that there is very little about which one can be certain.

—W. Somerset Maugham

Being honest fills the pride bank and sometimes the piggy bank. Being less than that insures multiple "costs."

Bye for now,


Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Can call his opponent "my friend" when he wants to call him a jackass.

Tonight should be interesting and may decide the election. Normally, it is the lesser of evils. This year it is really hard to determine. On the one hand... and on the other...  I wouldn't mind a third hand option!!

Bye For Now,


Monday, October 15, 2012


Today I gave a powerful eulogy for a young woman who died of alcohol abuse. The "affliction of addiction" defies logic and presents us with a paradox of self-destruction that defies hedonism.

We have created a memorial scholarship in her name to provide addiction support services for people who can't afford outpatient counseling.

Please make your donations to The Humanistic Center for Counseling Services at 150 S. University Drive, Plantation, FL 33324. Please put Kim's Legacy on the bottom of your check.

Thank You and Bye for Now,


Friday, October 12, 2012


A calm, peaceful TGIF day today. And then it is a fast scoot to the weekend. Most important that you take care of—YOU!

Bye For Now,


Thursday, October 11, 2012


Whatever you want in life, you must give up something to get it. The greater the value, the greater the sacrifice required of you. Everything has a price.
There is a price to pay if you want to make things better, and a price to pay for just leaving things as they are. Nothing worthwhile every comes easily.

—Max Steingart

Je suis agree! TOTALLY!

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, October 10, 2012


Be sincere. Be simple in words, manners, and gestures. Amuse as well as instruct. If you can make people laugh, you can make them think and make them like and believe you.

—Alfred E. Smith

Sounds like the prescription I have lived by my whole life.

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, October 9, 2012


When my son Mike was in middle school he did a science project. Over a 3 year period he studied the distribution of blood types in the general population. He pricked fingers to take blood samples and never wore  rubber gloves.

It was all done with the support of his school. His project won an award at the State level.

Could that happen now? NEVER!

Bye for Now,


Monday, October 8, 2012


The Hollywood trained part of me wanted Adam Greenberg, the baseball player that was hit in the head by the very first pitch he faced as a major leaguer in 2005, to knock it out of the park when he was given a chance to hit in the Marlin's next to last game of the season. If not a homer, at least a single or even a long fly ball. But this was reality not tinsel town.

When he struck out in three pitches, the play fair part of me felt the pitcher, R.A. Dickey sure lived up to his name. In a meaningless game at the end of a not so great season for both teams did Dickey really need one more strike-out on his 20 game winning record? Could he have eased up just a tad? He sure could have as could the ump who called the first strike.

But then another part of me kicked in and I saw the scene thru a lens of self-renewal, recovery, and homecoming. Adam came back to the majors and for a couple of glorious moments stood at the plate and took his licks and didn't get beaned. The smile on his face said it all and the Marlins did a mitzva, which in some ways is more important in the long run than their being in last place.

Bye For Now,


Friday, October 5, 2012


It is important for us all to know and understand that back in the day nothing was like it is now.

Considering that we people are not known for our ability to tolerate change we have made an amazing adaptation to a whole new world order.

Though some of still struggle with techno-overwhelmtion, the very notion that I can type almost anything into a search engine and get results is fantastic. Where have all the encyclopedias gone? And I don't even need to know how to spell encyclopedia. That's pretty cool.

Bye For Now,


Thursday, October 4, 2012


If you are of my generation or even the next I encourage you to do a field trip to Bye Bye Baby or a similar store.

Notice first the selection of so much, when back in the day the choices were so limited as were the colors. It reminds me of Henry Ford's statement that you can have any color car you want as long as it is black!

Notice the price tags on mercedes-esque strollers, car seats, cribs and the like. How's $2000 for a crib and chest of drawers or $400 for a car seat or $1000+ for a stroller. Even the smaller stuff is silly money.

The choices are unlimited as are the prices. I don't think i could have afforded children in today's world. Glad we had them when we did.

New parents have so many more challenges. Then again 47% don't pay taxes according to Mitt, so i guess they can afford the hit! NOT!

I really try to stay away from politics, but i think both parties are so far removed from day to day realities that they haven't a clue.

Clearly,  cost and simplicity have been lost, and i am not so sure that is such a good thing because back in the day...........costs correlated with income and made more sense.

Bye for Now.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use.

—Ruth Gordon

I agree and the same applies to optimism, being "Dam Strong!" and rising to the challenges that life throws at us.

Bye for Now,


Monday, October 1, 2012


Justin Bieber vomited on stage in Arizona. Perhaps he finally became nauseated by the sound of his own voice. That boy is growing up!

Friday, September 28, 2012


Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

—author unknown


Bye For Now,


Thursday, September 27, 2012


For those of you tired of my bitching about my lingering cold, I'm pleased to report that I am feeling much better.

It was just a cold, but a kick ass one!

Be well and happy.

Bye for Now,


Monday, September 24, 2012


Healthy and fulfilling New Year to my Jewish readers.

Bye For Now,


Mr. Smith Comes Back to The Game

This Baltimore football team's player's younger brother was killed in the early hours of Sunday in an accident. He broke camp to be with his family. Then he returned and played his heart out. Some will wonder how he did that.

My fantasy is that he decided to play to honor his brother's memory and to be there for the team. And did he ever. His focus was total and his commitment 150+%. That is one special man, brother, family man and teammate.

He deserves our complete respect, as he reflects the old motto that the "show" must go on. He is a role model for all who face adversity and life's challenges squarely. I can't help but admire Mr. Smith. Prayers for his brother and their family.

Bye For Now,


Friday, September 21, 2012


I am honing in on 800 blogs. Have you read them all?

If these were homers, I'd be in the baseball Hall of Fame. I hope there is a bloggers Hall of Fame someday. If so, please cast your vote in my direction.

Have a peaceful weekend.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, September 20, 2012


The biggest problem with my aging is that I feel young, act young, and am shocked when I don't feel so young. Like when jet lag lags for weeks. Like when a cold (just a cold) lingers for weeks. And when a walk in the park turns into physical therapy. Like when skin once taut and firm, wrinkles like a linen shirt. Like when I look in the mirror and see I morphed into my grandpa! Like when I can't lose a pound no matter how much I starve. Like when I...well you get the drift.

And yes, this beats the alternative— BUT it leaves much to be desired.

It may be true that youth is wasted on the young but now you tell me?

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Courtesy is the shortest distance between two people.

—Abigail Van Buren

It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember. (Hear that Mitt?)

—Eugene McCarthy

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.

—James Barrie

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


On Friday, already feeling weakened by my "just a cold" experience, I was heading to a home visit (who said Drs. don't make house calls?) at 8:30 a.m. when I was rear-ended while sitting at a light.

The noise was a loud "CRASH" and I immediately exited the car to check what I assumed was a crunched-in rear. To my surprise, there was no damage, but a few paint chips. The driver apologized profusely, admitted he was distracted (texting maybe?) and offered me some money. Then, as it turned out, he had no money.

So, I shook his hand and said, "Look we weren't injured, no harm done, let's call it even" and we drove on. That's the way life should be. If it is a 1 on a 10 point scale then we should treat it as such and mosey on by.

Bye For Now,


Monday, September 17, 2012


"It's just a cold, it's just a cold," I keep repeating to myself like a powerful Zen mantra.

 But this "it's just a cold" is just kicking my butt. Caused me to cancel a weekend trip to NYC for the Jewish holiday. Caused me to have to draw from reserve energy to give a two hour talk for Oncology Social Workers on Friday, which actually went very well. Caused me to detour from my usual daily two mile walk in the park.

But, thank goodness, it is just a cold.

A healthy New Year to my Jewish blog friends. May it just be "just a cold."

Bye for Now,


Friday, September 14, 2012


Causing me to feel weak, out of focus, and not my usual energetic self.

But, relatively speaking, it is just a cold that will pass in time, which is much easier to deal with than a serious and prolonged illness. I am thankful for that and try my best not to be the "baby" that whines and complains.

No more achoo's—just a heavy head and an overwhelming need to sleep.

So, I'm going to bed now. But I have book edits to work on!!

Still a 1 on a 10 point scale. Hope your woes are as well.

Bye for now,


Thursday, September 13, 2012


Let's take this silly, irritating cold one strep further. I started a diet (finally!) last week. Goal is 30 lbs down. I have lost 6 pounds so far.

Relatively speaking, the cold saps my appetite and reduces it to soup and not much more. On a diet that is a very good thing to help one get in the groove/ zone of less eating and more weight loss.

Just sounds yummy to me.  Achoo!

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Apropos of Monday's blog there are even more issues of relativity, relative to catching a cold.

It could have come while we were away for three weeks, which would have put a damper on our trip. It is also more pleasant to deal with illness when one is home, not living out of a suitcase in a small hotel room.

Or, my cold could have come next Friday, when I am scheduled to give a presentation workshop for Social Workers who specialize in oncology.

Relatively, speaking this cold came just when I needed it to—Achoo.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Today will always be a sad day for the world.

My prayers to the families of those who perished.

While in Italy I met a man from England who told me his brother was in NYC on 9/11 and died while giving a breakfast presentation in Windows on the World. As much as we are aware that 3000+ innocent people were killed that day, it makes it so much more real when you meet someone who was directly affected by it.

Peace and Love,

Bye for Now,


Monday, September 10, 2012


On Friday I came down with a cold. On my 1-10 scale it is less that 1. "Why?" you might ask.

Because on Friday plenty of people were diagnosed with cancer, diabetes, heart conditions, and other serious stuff. Compared to that a cold is nothing!

And let's face it, at worst it is a temporary irritant, annoyance, inconvenience BUT no big deal.

Applying the relativity ideas helps us cope better and better tolerate the small stuff—and a lot of it is small stuff.


Bye for Now


Friday, September 7, 2012


Einstein developed a theory of relativity.
Penzer developed a theory of relativity.

Which one do you understand? Clearly, everything is relative!

How does Penzer Bagels sound to you?

Bye for Now,


Thursday, September 6, 2012


and feel the heat of $4.00 a gallon see it in perspective. In Italy and all over Europe gas is 1.85 Euros per liter or thereabouts. With 4 liters to a gallon that comes to 7.40e which comes to 11+ dollars—a freaking gallon.

Four bucks ain't so bad!

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, September 5, 2012


I am more and more convinced that the title of this blog is undeniably true. It is through that lens of relativity that we need to view and value our lives. Too often we exaggerate our misfortunes, seeing things that happen to us as 8-10+ (on a ten point scale) when, in fact, they are 4s or less. We need to save the 8+s for when they hit. If not, we will have depleted ourselves and our resources, when it comes time to cope with the biggies.

Here is an example from my Cancerville books:

        1              2            3           4           5               6               7            8          9           10

           nasty cold                        flu                        pneumonia                      lung cancer               or this

           getting lost in Italy          fender bender      crash with injuries          crash with fatalities

Tomorrow, as troubles encounter you, try to use this scale to see them in perspective. The more we see our problems clearly and objectively, the better we are able to cope, manage, and overcome them.

And, if your problem is truly 8+ call in some help, support, and guidance.

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I'm Back!

In my new world order, a successful trip is one in which no one got sick or hurt. It is about having survived treacherous road conditions on the hair-pin slopes of Italy. It is about managing to  navigate with a lady who only spoke Italian—until we got home. It is about tolerating less than ideal conditions and meals that showed no signs of varying. It is about being sneezed on by 137 people and not getting sick.

It is also about exploring new places and seeing sights and vistas never before imagined. That is what travel is all about. And we lived to tell the tales. It's all good.

More tomorrow, especially about relativity. So good to be back in the US of A. Don't let the politicians fool you. We rock! In our weakest moments, we are stronger than other countries in their strongest hours. That, my friends, is a fact.

Bye For Now,


Thursday, August 9, 2012


while I am away is to read every blog u missed from past years.

The test will be on 9/3, appropriately termed "labor day."

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, August 8, 2012


I am happy to see that the London games are going peacefully along. Hats off to London for their wise management of these games. Hats on for Mitt who once again stepped in shit with his offhanded comments. The more he tries to make himself look good, the more he fails and disappoints!

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, August 7, 2012


that can do us proud. All who meet that expectation are welcome to apply. Unfortunately, it never seems to happen. Time after time we get to choose from the lesser of evils. SUCKS really!

Bye for Now,


Monday, August 6, 2012


what I wanted to blog about that day in the park. I am tired of getting taken by auto mechanics. In my next life I am coming back as certified auto literate. We need to know as much as they do, in order to not be duped.

My sense is that I go in for an oil change and get taken for a ride! This entails them looking for whatever they can find that needs work, even if that is a long way off.

Bye for Now,


Friday, August 3, 2012


Marriages don't last. When i meet a guy, the first question i ask myself: Is this the man i want my children to spend their weekends with?

—Rita Rudner

It's so great to find the one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

—Rita Rudner

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

—George Carlin

Thursday, August 2, 2012


Strangers are friends that you have yet to meet.

—Roberta Lieberman

Courtesy is the shortest distance between two people.

—Abigail Van Buren

Combine these ideas and you will make many new friends.

Buy For Now,


Wednesday, August 1, 2012


Having met and spoken to many who have been to Cancerville, especially my daughter, has helped me shift my relativity scale away from overreacting.

Sure, prepping for a colonoscopy, losing something important, having your car breakdown, being taken by a mechanic, etc. is undeniably annoying. But it "ain't nothin'" compared to so many hard to swallow things in life and in Cancerville.

Everything is truly relative and most things are a 3-4 on a 10 point scale. Try to see them like that, rather than making them into 9's and 10's.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Yesterday I had a colonoscopy. All came out fine!

This is a gentle reminder to all those who are due for one to move your tush!

What's one crappy day vs. colon cancer?

Bye for Now,


Monday, July 30, 2012


As I watched the opening ceremonies wondering what the Director was thinking or drinking when he conceived this unspectacular spectacle, I wondered what this silly show cost. I believe he should stick to making wonderful movies and leave to others the task of creating an uplifting, upbeat, and inspiring opening to the grand Olympic Games. Even the British Empire isn't quite that boring and disjointed.

Thank goodness all that positive energy was created by the proud and smiling athletes strutting their stuff, their flags, and their joie de vivre at being there. It is always nice to see the world united by a common, healthy, and empowering cause.

Now, if only the Queen had smiled it would have been a perfect prelude to "Let the Games Begin!!"

As for Ralph...well that is a whole separate blog.

Bye for Now,


Friday, July 27, 2012


after a week of heavy blogs? I certainly do!

Here is another one of George Carlin's RULES from Orange Peel Gazette:

"Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done."

Bye for Now,


Thursday, July 26, 2012


When I visited Bernie Siegel, M.D., in May I dressed mostly in purple. He believes that color reflects someone being open to spiritual learning. Even before I knew that, Ronnie and I began to wear that color more often because my book covers are purple.

So I was quite relieved to learn that the Weston, Fl Sheriff's office is doing every thing they can to ensure law and order prevails during these turbulent times.

On March 6, 30 or so bicyclists were riding through Weston. The group left the bike lane to pass a slower rider and two joggers. The sheriff singled out just one woman to ticket for that "awful" trespass. He gave her a $65 ticket because she "stood out" in her purple outfit, while letting the rest go free.

You might wonder why Molli S, a triathlete, was wearing purple? Because she is a cancer survivor trying to bring awareness to pancreatic cancer!

Well done officer—NOT! It is reassuring to know that our streets are safe from bike lane violators—especially those who are Cancerville survivors.

Perhaps next time he can nab a "Special Olympics" trainee or some other "super sleuth" evading the law.

Nonetheless, Ronnie and I will keep wearing purple every chance we get to honor cancer, to reflect our openness to learning and spiritual growth, to symbolize my books, and to acknowledge Molli. Go Gal!

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, July 25, 2012


And the London Olympics has the potential to give us that booster shot.

Ten thousand plus athletes will be there as well as  almost ten million spectators. It will either be a disaster or a blessing. Let's hope for and assume the latter.

We can all use a YES! moment and I am hoping these great games filled with dedicated athletes from just about all countries in the world will do the trick. I personally don't care who wins what medals. I care that the London games win their fair share of applause, accolades, and affirmations considering how hard that city has worked to make this happen so that it comes out right.

Let the games begin and let sanity and civility rule the day.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Having completed, "How to Cope Better When You Have Cancer, " a book I hope you never read but for professional or curiosity reasons, my blog will return to 5 days a week. That said, I will take off from August 9th to after Labor Day for good behavior. Your assignment will be to read all of the blogs you missed. There will be a test on September 4th!

On a more serious note the flags are flying at half mast in the park I walk 2 miles each day. Today I saw them in my mind not only paying  respects to the Aurora victims of crazymaking, but also to the victims of the Sandusky abuse. He stole young boy's innocence, trust, and sense of fair play. How obscene it was to create a helping organization for boys, that served to recruit his innocent victims. How disgraceful it was of him to use the playing field of sports, to play so dirty. How outrageous it was for everyone in command to turn away for the good of their Penn cause, when the sick SOB should have gone to the pen many years ago! May he go there now and receive the very painful treatment he dolled out.

What good really are the sanctions? $60 mill will be ponied up by rich alumni. The loss of face and scholarship will only hurt young athletes at the school. Tossing Paterno's statue and wins will not help the children affected, and almost seem irrelevant to the crimes that were perpetuated. His teams won those 14 titles; but he lost his way, as did so many others. We count on people in powerful positions to be honorable; perhaps that is our biggest mistake.

Nor will the words of the well-meaning president or the kind-hearted in Colorado, do much to revive the dreams of all the young people who lost their lives at the hands of a homicidal maniac. Though he delusionally believed he was The Joker, his was no joke—it was  the biggest of tragedies!

There are some crimes and injustices for which no punishment is sufficient and no words adequate. The flags at half mast tell the sorry tale and help us remember those who didn't deserve what they received. May the victims and their families eventually find peace.

Bye For Now,


Monday, July 23, 2012


There is nothing more quintessential than going to the movies on a Friday night or Saturday afternoon. It was always a Norman Rockwell moment—even on Sunday to watch "Never On Sunday."

In that dark space we could smoke cigarettes until we advanced to making out, which required nothing less than perfect breath. We could also enjoy the likes of Brando, Wayne, Sinatra, and a bevy of beautiful ladies, like Gina, Gretta, Gloria, and Grace who always disappeared just before they did the "dirty deed," but thankfully reappeared all showered and cleansed for the next scene in those censored and sounds of silence days of the 50's and 60's. The movie theater was our hangout, especially in the rain; it only cost  a quarter, if you could convince the cashier, that even though you had a pack of Marlboro in your shirt pocket or under your rolled up sleeve, you were still a child under 14. And we were!

Will anyone be able to go to a movie again without giving passing thought about the tragedy last Friday night in Aurora, Colorado? Are there not many more Mr. Holmes' out there planning and plotting their insanity debut, right in front of the big screen, a super-market, or a fast-food joint near you? "Hello world, I'm crazed and you are F'in dead! Aren't I the cat's meow?"

I have met many people who carry permitted  guns for this very reason. Though I am not a gun person, times like these make me wonder—shoot or be shot?

May our prayers and hearts go out to the families of these most innocent victims who went to enjoy a Dark Knight movie, and ended up losing their life or being seriously injured on a very, very, very dark night!

It is bad enough that we have terrorists from other countries trying to get us. When our own intelligent and charming Ph.D. students turn against us in their moment of crazymaking, we are truly left completely in the dark.

Bye & Sad for Now,


Friday, July 20, 2012


Stop messing with old people. Target introduced a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label, and the top is now the bottom. By the time grandpa figures out how to open it, he'll be gone.
Congratulations Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

I think that is very funny, but for the fact that he is talking about me!

My mom lived to 100. I think part of her motivation was to get even with the government in a "got you last" sense.

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, July 18, 2012


I remembered what I wanted to write about from my walk in the park. Then I forgot again.
Meanwhile, check out these funny George Carlin words from the Orange Peel Gazette:

No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving. It's legal looting.

That is funny, but there is a yang to it too. Isn't it better for someone to get what they need rather than what they need to return?

Bye for Now,


Monday, July 16, 2012


I really enjoy my 2 mile walk in the park each day. It clears my head—so much so that I completely forgot what I thought about while walking that I wanted to write in a blog.

Hopefully, it will come to me by Tuesday night. Such is the price one pays for getting older—a most interesting, and at times, challenging experience.

I am pleased to report that Bernie Siegel, M.D., came through and wrote a wonderful Foreword for the book for the patient. He is the mensch of all mensches in my book, literally and figuratively.

Bye for Now,


Friday, July 13, 2012

Self-Fulfilling Expectations

Research consistently shows that people with positive mindsets and anticipations more often achieve positive results. That is why the placebo effect can be such a powerful force.

So as you head into this weekend, despite today being Friday the 13th, expect all good things to happen. Expect peace, relaxation, and tranquility. Expect that people will be kind and pleasant to you and vice versa. Anticipate love.

Let's see what happens on Saturday and Sunday. I hope your expectations turn into your reality—not just this weekend, but most of the time.

Personally, I expect that you will like this blog—but I could be wrong. I like it and that is right enough for me.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, July 11, 2012


but the more i read, the more i become perturbed. Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Support America—buy a congressman!" Perhaps it should have added or "buy a presidential election" given the hundreds of millions that are poured into the campaign by both sides, not to mention the shady shades of gray or is that a sexy book of a different dirty nature? And by the way how did an old Jewish guy who owns casinos become a major macha in politics anyway?

I expressed my vote before. We elect a President for 5 years and DONE! That gives him or her a chance to be a leader without worrying about the next election and having to look over one's shoulder the whole time in office. I also believe there needs to be 4 or more VPs who divide up the duties.

No two people, no matter their talents, can lead such a diverse and overwhelming set of issues that range from domestic health care to what do do with and about Iran, the European economic crisis, and large soda cups! I nominate Mike B. for VP of soda, especially since he is soon out of a job.

You just have to laugh or you are gonna cry!

Bye For Now,


Monday, July 9, 2012


Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket.


There was never a person who did anything worth doing who did not receive more than he gave.
--Henry Ward Beecher


Bye for Now,


Friday, July 6, 2012


 are exploding all around my house and on the TV as well.

I have never been a big fireworks fan. After three or four views they all kinda look the same, and how many times can you say oooh or ahhh with your neck cranked toward the sky.

But, the meaning of July 4th should never go unrecognized. It is about feeling grateful for living in the greatest country in the world bar none. Hold aside politics which are often silly, economic shifts which are often difficult but surmountable, failures of character which seem to be part of the landscape, and intermittent crises which are just part of life.

Focus on the progress we have made since the founding fathers (and mothers) gave birth to a new nation with liberty and justice for all. It is a beautiful thing that deserves our respect and appreciation. Today marks the US of A positioned to continue to play a key role in guiding the way of the world. I am proud to be an American and always will be. I hope you are too.

Bye For Now,


Monday, July 2, 2012


Last weeks Time magazine had a cover story about the middle class taking a major hit. With just about everything up in price and some sectors targeting fees and charges to supplement fees and charges, it is no wonder, especially as salaries continue to drop.

There is this interesting quote used by FDR in his last Inaugural Address attributed to his Groton School rector, Endicott Peabody:

    Things in life will not always run smoothly. Sometimes we will be rising toward the heights—then
    all will seem to reverse itself and start downward. The great trend of civilization itself is 
    forever upward, that a line drawn through the middle of the peaks and the valleys of the centuries
    always has an upward trend.

I think this applies equally to our lives.

Bye For Now,


Friday, June 29, 2012


Every week or so it seems brings a new person or more to the guilty box. It is that "shame and blame" zone where unfathomable things have happened in the name of greed, lust, crazy-making or all of the above and more.

Another shocking scandal brought to light, tried, and convicted. She killed her mother-in-law and husband. He did unthinkable things to young boys. The co-conspirators covered it over with a thin coat of transparent paint—they are guilty too. The cops behaved like the bad guys and gals, despite the trust we placed in them. The politicians—well they did what too many politicians do—crash, burn, and hang themselves on their own petard.

I wish I could wave my magic wand and defuse the temptation of GLOP.  I hope you can. Let's try to focus on all the good and bypass the not so good. Despite major breaches of trust, our world is still a lovely place to be.

 Bye For Now,


Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.

--Marie Curie

I could not agree more and encourage all to follow their gifts and their dreams.

Bye For Now,


Monday, June 25, 2012


As you know, if you read my blogs, I'm not a big sports buff. I did enjoy watching all of the NBA playoff games as they were entertainment of the highest order. I was happy the Heat won, even though many people say they are angry at the team. I try my best not to get into that. It is time LeBron is forgiven for his past "immaturity" to which he has already confessed and apologized.

What do we learn from it all? Hang tough, play strong, be a team, have a vision, see it through, persevere, and sweat it out... Life is a full court press every step of the way. Slam dunk when you can, foul when you have to, keep your eye on the ball, and you too can win. Perhaps you will never hoist a trophy high, but that is not really important.

Win your game, best as you can, feel proud, and consistently hit three pointers like Mike Miller—aching back and all—did. Swoosh!

Bye for Now,


Friday, June 22, 2012


There is a magazine that I enjoy called "Nostalgic America." Lot's of "oldy but goldy" pictures to see. Today I saw one from the shot heard round the world. Too young to remember what that was?

It was when Bobby Thomson hit a walk off home run to win the penant for the NY Giants from the NY Dodgers. Those were the days.

But what I noticed was the dress code in the stands. Tie and jacket were the norm. Same was true for theater in New York back then. Now the dress code has morphed to shorts and tee with flip flops. Comfie, but not quite the same.

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, June 20, 2012


On Saturday Dr. Penzer was quoted on the front page of the Sun Sentinel saying, "I have watched in awe throughout the last 40 years as the people who visited my office have risen up to and taken down whatever obstacles lay in their paths.

Monday, June 18, 2012


I had drafted a blog for Friday and today, BUT I ticked off the bad spirits in my previous posts and they wiped them out as a way of getting even with me.

Whatever you do don't upset the spirits or they will do the same back to you. May the only evil spirits be in your glass.

 Hang with the good guys and all will be well.

Bye for now,


Wednesday, June 13, 2012


The day after the ceremony we returned to the desolate spot where it had occurred. A bleacher had been set up for us to sit on.  I was on the top level chatting with Susan, one of the most stable and sanest people on the trip. All of a sudden and out of the blue, she began to cry hysterically.

"What's wrong? Was it something I said?" knowing it could not be related to our meaningless chatter. "I don't know why I am crying," she said amid the sound effects and gasping that accompany hysterical people.

At that moment, the Voodoo Priest, Acquete, noticed the commotion and walked over to the bottom of the bleachers. He made some dramatic hand gestures and she stopped crying instantly. She had no idea why she started or instantly stopped crying.

When the debriefing meeting to explain what happened the night before at the ceremony began, I raised my hand and asked the equivalent of WTF just happened?  The explanation, translated from African to French to English came back as this:

The Priest throws firecrackers all about at the ceremony to scare away the bad spirits. He blows perfume spray to attract the good spirits. Some of the bad guys lingered in the area and had invaded Susan this morning. His finger motions scared them away.

To this day, I have never been able to come up with a better explanation. Can you? Contact me if you would like to know the three hand gestures he used. I have them down pat!

Bye For Now,


Monday, June 11, 2012


When we returned to the hotel at about 2 a.m. I asked the desk clerk if I had a call. He looked at me strangely and said, "No sir." I didn't believe him. I knew my wife well enough to know that if there was a problem at the house she would call—even when I was in Africa.

By the time I got to my room the phone was ringing. "It has been resolved, but there was a problem at the house tonight," she said. "I know, I sent some spirits to help you," I responded. "And what kind of spirits have you been drinking tonight?" she inquired. "Cold sober I am—unfortunately," I said and then went on to tell her of my experience, at crazy-money long distance charges. Remember it was 1982. She told me that she had called because she was afraid the clerk would tell me she called earlier to get my opinion, even though she specifically asked him not to, and that I would worry. No worries when one is in tune with the spirits, rather than imbibing in them!

All of that happened just as I am describing and opened my eyes just a little to the spirit world and the like.

More on Wednesday so stay tuned—all three of you!

Bye for Now,


Friday, June 8, 2012


In trance, I became in touch with the idea that there was a problem at home. And there I was far away. It wasn't a serious problem best as I could tell, but one that needed my assistance.

In my head I spoke to the spirits and asked them to intervene and help out. This was a bit unusual for me, but what was I to do so far away from home?

The spirits came through and helped resolve things at the very time in the U.S. that I requested their assistance in Africa. Those spirit dudes do move quickly!

Next week I will tell you two stories related to this that  blew me away.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Our motley crew studied alternative medicine and healing. We visited healers, psychics, herbalists, and even attended a voodoo ceremony on a Friday evening.

Acquete, the voodoo priest, glowed in the darkness as he was constantly in motion, throwing firecrackers and blowing perfume. Women, danced around to the rhythm of the drums until they fell down on the floor in trance, spoke in tongues to the spirits, and told Acquete what they had learned from the spirits.

At some point in this long evening ceremony, the drums lulled me into trance.  On Friday I will tell you what happened then.

Bye For Now,


Monday, June 4, 2012


For most of my career I have focused on realism. My semi-scientific mind skirted issues of what seemed like the supernatural. Miracles, and the like, seemed a bit of a stretch. I stayed in the zone, rather than the twilight zone.

A variety of influences, including Bernie Siegel, M.D.'s books persuaded me to venture into "out there." I found that the more I accepted "out there" the  more "out there" answered me back. This relates to my statement of the last year—"There are no coincidences, only endless opportunities and possibilities.

In reality i have known that since 1982. More on my West African adventure on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, don't contemplate your navel. Contemplate the subject of miracles, blessings, angels, and the like, and their influence on your life.

Bye for Now,


Friday, June 1, 2012


I spoke on Monday and Wednesday about the power of our histories. One of the things that has helped me to strengthen my Dam and neutralize the cess-based influences is my simple minded philosophy of Realistic Optimism.

In it's simplest form RO says, if it is realistic then be optimistic and hopeful.  Much research shows that the more optimistic we can be the better the outcomes in most challenging situations. Where cess creates inner clouds, optimism lets the sun shine in within.

You can read more about RO in my book, "How to Cope Better When Someone You Love Has Cancer," or in a reprint that Coping with Cancer Magazine published in their May/June edition that can be found at under articles.

Next week I will talk about what I have come to call Unrealistic Optimism.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, May 30, 2012


On Monday I spoke of the quote by Mr Caro: "The power of history is in the end the greatest power."

Unfortunately, for the majority of people historical cess plays a stronger role than historical dam grams. For example, i can remember my loving and warm grandmother showing me those feelings in many ways. But I can also remember the times my parents created cess for me—and my parents were far from abusive! But they were nervous, fearful, shy, self-conscious, and vitally concerned with my safety, health, academics, what others thought, etc. All that amounted to a hysterical historical introduction into the world. And grandma's occasional love, while helpful, was not strong enough to neutralize my parent's daily doses of cess. Nor were my parent's occasional lighter, brighter, funner times sufficient to override their more intense and fear focused over protection.

At several crunch times of my life the power of that history outweighed the power of my more rational mind and my Dam.

This is where counseling and therapy comes in. Slowly, it helps people to distance and disconnect from the power of that history and replace those distorted thoughts and feelings with more accurate assessments of self and others. But it is a slow process and we live in a world at a time when speed is of the essence. So people want to be helped in the time frame of a tweet. Unfortunately, that is not yet possible, even with modern meds or cognitive behavioral tools.

As a result, for many, their histories will be haunting and daunting and in the end the greatest power and force with which they will have to reckon. While validating Mr. Caro's comment on a mindly matters level, that my friends, is sad.

Bye for Now,


Monday, May 28, 2012


Last week I was talking about the Cesspool and the Dam as being highly influential in how we function and how we see our lives. I posited that with a strong Dam, even during crunch times, we can keep our inner sun shining brightly.

Then I read an interview with Robert Caro who has devoted his life to being a biographer for Lyndon Johnson—3000 pages and 35 years. He concludes the interview by saying:

                            "The power of history is in the end the greatest power."

Think about that statement relative to your life. I will comment on it on Wednesday.

Bye For Now,


Friday, May 25, 2012


I use this word to represent all of the hurtful temptations that surround us and call our name. There is glop on a plate, in a glass, pill bottle, street drugs, casino, etc. There is glop in a board room and in a  bedroom. You can find glop on any given day in the headlines when the rich and famous or not so rich and famous fail and fall.

Your goal is to avoid glop and eliminate that which has become part of your habits. It is a struggle all the way—but essential to accomplish in your lifetime to maintain a strong Dam and an inner sunny glow.

Keep at it and Never, Never, Never give up until you have achieved your goals. If at first you don't succeed...

Bye For Now,


Wednesday, May 23, 2012


For many years now I have been using a simple model to explain my mind and yours.  We have storage centers in our brains that are made up of the billions of wires that represent our magnificent minds. The Cesspool stores the not so pleasant happenings that we all encountered, while the Dam stores the positive moments of feeling proud, loved, worthy, etc.

Feeding these are our shame and blame accounts which convert to cess based upon our glopful ways and our pride bank which feed our Dam. The secret to life is to avoid glop and behave in ways which cause us to feel proud. That keeps the Dam strong and our inner sun shining despite the outer pressures we all face.

Easier said than done, but eminently doable.

More about Glop on Friday.

Bye for Now,


Monday, May 21, 2012


Apropos of Friday's blog, it is not always easy to keep your inner sun  shining through the rough bumps life throws at us. Financial upheavals, health issues, relationship challenges, loss of loved ones, and the like present major clouds and gray emotional skies. I have been there more times than I care to remember.

This is where my battle cry of "DAM STRONG!" came from. In order to overcome the challenges of our lives and maintain an inner sunny spirit, what I call our dams need to be strong and resilient.

More about this next blog.

Bye for Now,


ps  Given that I am posting 12 times or more a month on facebook page (Please "like" it if you haven't already) and working day and night to finish the book for the patient, I am cutting back these blogs temporarily to Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Did I just hear a loud groan of disappointment or was that a truck going by?

pps Happy Birthday today to my son, David, who somehow is older than I feel!

Friday, May 18, 2012


It has been another rainy week in paradise from morning to night.

I have come to believe that while the outside sun is nice, it is our inner sun that makes a big difference.

Try to develop an inner glow, no matter what challenges you face. I believe you will find that your inner sun shiny feelings will guide your day and way far better than gloom and doom and inner clouds of gray.

Have a sunny weekend, no matter the weather outdoors.

Bye for now,


Thursday, May 17, 2012


Bernie Siegel, M.D. says, "No matter the problem throw love at it and it will help."

This is an interesting idea. Apply it today in some way and see if he is correct.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Most people say that as you get old, you have to give up things. I think you get old because you give up things.
—Theodore Francis Green

I agree completely. The only thing I would like to give up is my waist line. Where are you size 30 dungarees? I guess they are still around but I am still too round! Working on it.

Bye for Now,


Tuesday, May 15, 2012


I shall resume regular blogs tomorrow.

Today's thought is simply to feel grateful for the little things. I was grateful to go safely and return safely and for all the good things that happened in between.

I was grateful to meet so many wonderful people and grateful for the opportunity to be helpful.

What are you grateful for today and everyday? As i have said before Gratitude helps your Attitude.

Bye For Now,


Monday, May 14, 2012

My meeting with Bernie Siegel, M.D. could not have gone better. About six weeks ago after we scheduled this meeting I drafted the last chapter for the book for the patient. It is called "On the Making of Miracles." It begins "I met with Bernie Siegel, M.D. on a warm and sunny spring day." Friends who read the chapter asked what I would do if it wasn't a sunny day? My reply was, "Even if it is pouring rain, it will be a sunny day for me, although I'm pretty sure it will be a sunny day." And it was.

We sat in his backyard like two former high school buddies and talked back and forth for one-and-a-half hours. It was non-stop energy and Bernie was on a roll as he gave me a guided tour of his ideas and their origins. "I learned it all by observing my exceptional patients," he said—"especially the ones who weren't supposed to make it but did. They taught me how powerful our minds can be in healing our bodies."

Since publishing "How to Cope Better When Someone You Love Has Cancer," Ronnie and i have taken to wearing purple, especially at cancer related events, as if to match the book. Bernie, an artist, said the color purple symbolized being open to spiritual growth and understanding. And I was.

As we concluded he got up first, his chair had broken and he lost his balance, and was about to fall backwards into his lovely garden. I quickly reached out and steadied him for a moment or two until he regained his balance. It was symbolic of us supporting each other during this empowering meeting. As I was leaving his warm home filled and oozing with love he said, "As long as you wear purple you're welcome back anytime." What a mensch! What a very special sunny spring day!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

What a powerful, inspiring, loving, and connected experience I had at Stowe VT Weekend of Hope. 350+ strong came, saw, enjoyed, and became even more empowered. They all rode off on a horse i call HOPE!

Never before did I start out as a newcomer and was so quickly and caringly embraced as a full-fledged member of this amazing community.

Never before did I meet so many strong and positive people under one roof. It all blew me away and i would like to believe i did the same for them.

More to come about this inspiring experience.

Hats off to the city of Stowe and  all who spent countless hours to make this magical weekend happen for those in Cancerville.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


Heading today for Stowe Vt Weekend of Hope for cancer patients and their care givers (whom I like to call "heart and soul" givers). I will be addressing the entire group Friday night and the  h&s folk from 1-230 Saturday.

No daily blogs till 5/14 so Happy Ma's Day to all for whom that day is special. I will do my best to blog from Stowe and update you.

Bye (literally) for Now,


PS Have someone house sitting so don't get any silly ideas.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Unusual weather for South Florida. Raining every day just about all day with strong winds at the beach. We have had such beautiful weather the last month or so and are so spoiled in that department.

So, rather than let the rain get you down remember "April showers bring May flowers."

Bye For Now,


Tuesday, May 1, 2012


The other day I watched my wife make airline reservations on line, use miles to pay for them, and choose seats. It took about twelve minutes. And even when the computer said, "failed try again" it did not and all went through without a hitch. Sometimes, our computers just like to play with our minds—sneaky devils that they are!

I couldn't help remember the days when , as a travel agent, she would sometimes spend hours  talking to airline employees to accomplish the same thing dealing with dropped calls midway through, phone operators who could barely speak the language, and having to hand write tickets before delivering them personally to the flyer.

It truly is a whole new world.

Bye For now,


Monday, April 30, 2012


After bashing my way thru Technoville last week an apology is in order. We spent the weekend editing the new book as the weather here was rain awful.
Thank goodness for cut/copy and paste. And I hope you are duly impressed that I know how to do that.

Bye For Now,


Friday, April 27, 2012


for now!

No I didn't follow Bernie's advice and break everything. I just realized for every benefit there are some costs and side effects.

Technoland , on its worst day, is still amazing. It provides opportunities for people, groups, and even nations, never before available. And, no one cares about spelling or punctuation anymore.

When you are struggling with whatever techno problem befalls you, just think that Hitler's Germany would have been quickly defused and demolished had there been email, texts, twitter, etc.

Bernie Siegel, M.D. encourages us to find the blessings surrounding our curses. Being able to enjoy all of the benefits of technology today, more than makes up for the occasional curse—not to mention not having to worry about spelling! Pls thats a blessin untoo itself as i am sure u wl agre.

Now, let's just hope this posts tomorrow, so I am not cursing. Set your alarms to check at 8am.

Bye for Now,


Thursday, April 26, 2012


Our son sent a text with a pic on Sunday. It arrived yesterday—two days late. Must have been screwed up at the post office. Oh, wait, there is no PO just a lot of PO'ed people these days.

And many of my wife's I phone messages disappeared before her very eyes today for no reason. And when you ask a techie they all say, "Sometimes, cyber space makes no sense whatsoever." This is not comforting to us older folk, nor is it an explanation. Sounds more like dodge ball. Those were the days.

This is why my friend Bernie said, "If it ain't broke, break it."  Welcome to the 21st Century." I seem to be good at breaking it, even when I am following the same "rules" i have been for all these years.

OK  Enough BS  Let's see if this posts tomorrow at 8 a.m.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Just when I finally overcome the timing problem, the blog site changes the format that I have come to love. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Now, I will never know how to post this blog which says nothing other than the progress of technology, can sometimes be regress.

My wish for all sites: Please leave well enough alone—especially for us old folks!

Bye for Now,

ps now what do I do?

pps this happened once before and then switched back in four days.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


If it comes up at 8:00 a.m. my voice is back. If not, the people at Google will have to explain this to my vast fan base.

I have received more complaints than I can count—ok just one but thank you Bernie for being a loyal and devoted blog fan.

I am sure there are more of you out there in cyberspace. Let me hear from you so I don't feel so alone. Me against Google is as bit of a David and Goliath adventure. Then again, I can handle it.

Finishing up "How to Cope Better When You Have Cancer." May you never need to read it.

Bye for Now,


Sunday, April 22, 2012


For all of this time I have scheduled posts and they have reliably come up at the appointed time. Last week all heck broke loose and my scheduled blogs failed to appear leading tens of thousands to complain. Well okay just one person but still.

So I await a fix from my gurus of techno and until that comes my voice is silenced. I can hear the communal  moan now. It sounds like a helicopter right above my house. Actually, that is what it is! Must be symbolic of my plight! Please hang on.

Bye for Now,


Friday, April 20, 2012

The Ten Commandments of Divorce When You Have Children


1.     Work hard to be cooperative co-parents.
2.     Never, ever say negative things about your former spouse.
3.     Always let your child (ren) know that your love for them will always be there.
4.     If you make a commitment to see/be with your child (ren) keep it—no matter what!
5.     Do not use your child (ren) as a go between or to displace your own angst re your former spouse onto them.
6.     Maintain appropriate communications regarding the child (ren) and always be civil, courteous, and kind.
7.     Participate together in all important child (ren) related decisions and events.
8.     Be flexible regarding visitations, holidays, monies, etc. Just not worth the fight.
9.     Celebrate together whenever possible and never say, “If your father/mother comes, I’m not!”
10. Recognize that despite your other failings as a couple, you have created someone (s) very special who loves you both very much and needs your love back—always and forever.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


to bring an important message to our secret service and armed forces, who usually serve our great nation and the President so well:

                                       THERE AIN'T NO F'IN SECRETS ANYMORE!!!


The same, by the way, holds true for you. Watch your back and do yourself a service by not having any secrets.

Bye for Now,


Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Those who danced to "Love is a Many Splendored Thing," or some such thing, may be now be fast dancing to the tune of "Love is a Many Squandered/ Squalid Thing!"

THINK! about your choices and decisions. Try your best not to be selfish or delusional. Try as well to be positive and proactive. Many, who impulsively divorce, wish they stayed with their original partner, after serially making many mistakes. A few find a more satisfying mate—but only a few!

Whomever said, "Love is Blind!"  was undeniably correct. Check out your emotional contact lenses, and make the right decision for all concerned—or suffer the consequences.

Bye for Now,

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Understandable sometimes.

Questionable sometimes.

Ridiculous sometimes.

Painful always.

Hurtful to children undeniably and forever.

Complicated usually.

Selfish sometimes.

Hurtful to the adults involved almost always.

Makes a mockery of the love once felt always.

Feeds divorce attorneys absolutely always.

Is necessary sometimes.

Is silly or short sighted often.

Is about other "loves" that are almost always illusions.

Is often avoidable—if both partners come to the "bargaining" table with an open, honest, and healing mind.

Bye for Now,


Monday, April 16, 2012


See Friday's blog for the intro to this week.

I have never liked the idea of divorce. Keep in mind I come from a generation where "you made your bed and must lie in it." But i came to believe as a psychologist, that the wrinkles in those bedsheets could be ironed out with a little counseling or coaching.

Also remember that I have been married for 48 years and danced with my wife at her sweet sixteen which makes us "dinosaurs" in every way.  See articles I wrote that go back 30 years at that are Marriage and Divorce Parts I -IV. I said then and I will say now that Marriage and Divorce are both unnatural acts. Your choice!

But when you have young children, you have a responsibility to try to make your marriage work before you abandon it. But can you believe, that even though people pay me well, they don't always listen to me well? Too often, a couple's love turns to hate and resentment over time as communication shuts down to the most superficial of levels. This in turn, leads to a variety of less than helpful, quite dysfunctional alternatives. Please try to avoid them as well as any "delusions" that your new s/he will make it all right. Most of the time such choices make it all wrong once again. Time will tell and like many you may regret your impulsive and momentarily self-serving choices of desperation!

More tomorrow.

Bye For Now,