Tuesday, June 28, 2011

RESTING ON MY LAURELS OF FRIDAY'S AND MONDAY'S BLOG

I hope my two previous blogs made you chuckle.

As I have always said, "Time flies whether you are having fun or not, so you better have some fun." I hope to have some in July, but mostly I will finish the book I have been writing (How to Cope Better When Someone You Love Has Cancer) and start the next one (How to Cope Better When You Have Cancer). My very sincere hope is that you never need to read either Sad to say,too many will, but at least it will help them.

I will start the blog up again in August. There are many previous ones for you to read or reread. There will be a test in the Fall! But why take it? It has already begun. Live an optimistic, purposeful and grateful life each day and you will have passed with flying colors.

Have a safe July 4th. May all your fireworks be in the sky.

Bye For Now and July,

Bill

Monday, June 27, 2011

A MEDICAL FANTASY

My friend and physician for more than 20 years and I had a very brief conversation the other day as he entered the examining room carrying his laptop. Now, all doctors must do their charting that way.

My comment to him was that someday the computer will talk directly to me and give me feedback. He strongly disagreed and said the computer will never replace the human element in medicine. I agree, BUT.........

Someday,perhaps we will walk into a doctors office and be greeted by a Robot. In some cases, you may feel it is that way now! But, fortunately my doctors people are very pleasant and welcoming. The Robot will recognize me and say, "Hello, Dr. Penzer. Please step onto that mental stand and put your arms thru the sleeves and your hands into the gloves, palms up. A green light will come on to show you are properly positioned."

That contraption weighs me, checks my blood pressure and pulse and if need be takes an EKG. It also painlessly pricks my finger and draws blood which it analyzes immediately.It scans my body for rashes and any troublesome warts or moles. It does an Xray type urine analysis, which thankfully no longer demands aim.

By the time I am led into an examining room within 2 minutes, all data has been analyzed and fed to another Robot who welcomes me warmly, "Good to you you again, Doctor,How are you feeling these days?"( Note, I am feeling fine and my exam the other day was fine, but I have made up the following symptoms for illustrative purposes). "Well," I say, I've been a bit dizzy, very fatigued and people say I look pale. Otherwise I feel fine."

The Robot responds, "I can help you with that. Your heart is fine, your blood results suggest you to be a little anemic and I think your dizziness is a minor, intermittent vertigo.If it bothers you try a pill for seasickness. Your cholesterol is higher than last time so I want you to up your medication and lose a few pounds. I am also writing a script for iron pills. I have conveyed all of this to your Doctor who will be in within 3 minutes. Have a good day and come back in 3 months.

My friend and doctor walks in and greets me warmly. He reviews the Robot's assessment with me, concurs and asks, " Anything else I can help you with today? "Not a thing, man, not a thing." I say as I exit. The Robotic secretary/receptionist tells me it has already charged my copay and emailed a copy of my blood results and my next appointment date.

The only thing I haven't figured out yet is how they will get the proctology and vaginal exams done, as the Robot's hands are steely cold and a bit rough around the edges. It may just be, as my friend pointed out, that the human element will still be needed after all.Of that, I really have no doubt.

It is, however, fun to ponder where technology is heading in the next 25 years. Now, if they can program a machine to say, "UMM", Ahha," "OH," "I see," "Tell me more" and a few other key expressions, it can do my job, too. I'll come in at the end to say, "Sorry our time is up for today" and collect the fee." I guess we will never really replace that human element. Then again, tell that to all the unemployed toll booth collectors.


Bye For Now,

Bill

Friday, June 24, 2011

THE REST ROOM IS NOT FAR BEHIND

Long before airlines charged for every detail, I predicted that they would soon charge to use the rest room on a plane. People laughed at me. "Don't be ridiculous," they said. Then, that cheapo airline in England, Ryan Air, said that was in their business plan, but it pooped out for unknown reasons.

Today, Spirit announced a $5 fee for those who need their boarding passes printed at the airport. Very soon they will charge a toll for access to the airport, a security check fee, money for the walk to the boarding gate as well as a seat there, check in, using the jet way and YES, the bathroom. There will also be a charge for bringing on your own food or drink.

There will also be a fee for the life preserver, whether you use it or not or even know where it is. Actually, double if you use it. They will also auction off the one soiled pillow and blanket available. Perhaps there will be a general use fee for the bathroom, double if you actually use it and triple if you do doo doo.You can always white lie and punch in "peepee" on the bathroom controller computer. Or is that a yellow lie?

It is just getting so confusing to fly. Better not to go (if you get what I mean)! Don't even ask about the mile high club. You can't afford it.

Bye For Now,

Bill

Thursday, June 23, 2011

7 of 10

Yesterday I hit that number from the free throw line in 90+ degree heat. I tried to compute whether that was better, worse or equal to my previous high of 8 out of 11, but math was never my strong suit. BUT who cares! The Heat should have done so well.

I believe in acknowledging less than perfect accomplishments. Pride banks are built on that awareness. I hope you get that, too.

Bye For Now,

Bill

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

WORDS WORTH READING

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.

Lin Yutang

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

IMPERFECTION

I have wondered if just as we tend to expect too much from ourselves, we can expect too much from the athletes for whom we root.

The Heat took a pounding in the press and by fans after their defeat by the Mavericks who outplayed them every step of the way. But they came in second. Not exactly "chopped liver." They won all of the other playoff series mightily, week after week. Shouldn't they be given credit for that?

More to the point shouldn't we give ourselves credit for our successes, despite occasional misses from the "free throw' line of life? As I said in a prior blog I was proud when got 8 of 11. Try your best to get the accounting correct. Give yourself credit for everything you do that is worthy and accept (unless it is a crime) that which is not so great. If the superstars can miss at times, so can we. Second isn't all that bad after all.

Bye For Now,

bill

Monday, June 20, 2011

WALK ON

After a day's walk everything has twice its usual value.

G M Trevelyan

Friday, June 17, 2011

BETCHA THOUGHT I WOULD DO A WEINER

Nope. Hope you had a pleasant and productive week.

I also hope you can give yourself a break and some recharge time over the weekend. If not you, who? If not now, when?

Make taking care of you a priority while you still do all you do for others.

As for "weiner world" he finally resigned after the porn star came out of the debris and opened up. No worries. He will soon become a spokesperson for Oscar Myer and then CNN. Life goes on. C'est la vie!

Bye For Now,

bill

Thursday, June 16, 2011

WORDS WORTH READING

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

Frank Tibolt

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

DRIBBLING NOT DROOLING! (WRITTEN BEFORE THEY LOST)

Having watched the agony and ecstasy of the Heat throughout the playoffs (which my robot strongly disapproved of)I have a suggestion. I believe there should be a foul for any player who shows their mouth guard. A double one for those that show one that drips saliva.Ugh!

It is bad enough to see their gaffs, but even worse to see their drool. I also think that a technical should be issued for those who chew on them like a pacifier. Come on big guys, act your age!

Bye For Now,

Bill

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

WORDS WORTH READING

I like this one for its honesty and simplicity:

I've had more trouble with D.L. Moody that with any other man I ever met.

D.L. Moody

I wonder if that is his real name?

Bye for Now,

Bill

Monday, June 13, 2011

APPROPOS OF FRIDAY'S BLOG

I received some flack about my Friday "weiny world" post. I also received some pretty racy pictures, mostly from republicans.Obviously, they wanted equal time. Seriously, I was not speaking to the morality of it all. Since civilization began, indiscretions have been part of the non-digital picture. It is Adam and Eve, id vs. superego, all the time and forever after.

I was railing about what smart people don't know about smart devices. Simply stated, they remember what many not so smart people would rather forget.

So once again, let me repeat that there are no secrets anymore. Everything pubic is public. The old saying was, "What's on his/her lung is on his/her tongue." Now it is, "What is on a server never disappears and may not serve you well."

So here are the new "rules" for 2011 and beyond:

No emails, texts or twits that u don't want everyone (including your Mom) to read.

No naked or partially clad pictures of yourself or others put out there.

No solicitation unless it is for a political or charitable contribution. In this case, charity does NOT begin at home, Governator.

No words exchanged that could embarrass you or cause you shame.

Private communications in private settings ONLY.

This is not rocket science. This is an effort to keep your rocket from crashing and burning, not to mention your "weiner."

Bye For Now,

Bill

Friday, June 10, 2011

IT'S A WILD WEINY WORLD!

I want you to send this to every VIP you know. Please forward this blog to Politicians, Hollywood or Bollywood movie stars, Athletes, Rock Stars, CEOs, University Presidents and the like. Please do not send to those who already have failed the litmus test of understanding life, technology and propriety in the 21st century. Do not send this to a once famous golfer who can't seem to make his putts, ever since he became one.

Now hear this all remaining unblemished VIPs( not many of you left sad to say!): In our techno world there is little privacy and even less secrecy. Everything, and I mean everything is subject to scrutiny. Taking a pic of your privates and sending them off is just not good for business, other than monkey business.It doesn't even seem to work well there.Just ask what's his name who exposes state secrets around the world, while exposing himself. Life is just not fair in so many ways.

Therefore, sending naked pictures to innocent others, seducing twits(or is it twats?) via twitter ( or is it twatter?), soliciting sex from high profile and high charging prostitutes, having sex and babies with fat and ugly employees or raping chamber maids much too close to airplane takeoff times,is dangerous to your health, happiness and harmonious relationships with your spouse, employee, political party or d) all of the above. Unless your wife is French, in which case she says, "Right on bro! Isn't mon cher chaud?" In my next life I may just marry a French woman!

Expose your privates in any way and many will do their best to whack them off.It is a slam dunk that provides fodder for the late night comedians. They wait for your improprieties to shove them up your you know what.

Furthermore,try to learn from those hormonally charged people who have "come" before you in the literal and figurative sense. Please help me understand what you don't understand about leaving a virtual or DNA trail or both? I want to help you so that in the future you can spare your loved ones and yourself the tears of guilt and tears of the heart.

For all of you who play by the rules, fill your pride banks and don't ever become a VIP. I think there is a computer virus there that takes otherwise sane, rational, intelligent and seemingly well meaning people and turns them into, well, "weiners" of one kind or another. I don't think I can bring myself to eat a hotdog ever again.

Bye For Now,

Bill

Thursday, June 9, 2011

WORDS WORTH READING

If you replace "winning" with "succeeding" and "win" with "succeed" I like this quote:

Winning(Succeeding)isn't everything,but wanting to win (succeed) is."

Vince Lombardi

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

LEON RULES AGAIN

In my 5/24 blog, I mentioned the work of DR. Leon Festinger in the area of cognitive dissonance. Go back to that if you care.

His theory predicts that those who specify a date that the world will end and face the reality that it didn't happen, will strengthen their views, rather than give them up. Pastor Camping initially said it was a terrible weekend, when the world didn't end on my son's birthday,Saturday May 21. Then he fell right in line with cog diss theory.

Now, it will happen in October, according to Mr.Camping. His beliefs survived the May maybe not events, just as Leon predicted. The question is will all those who gave up their jobs and homes survive. Hopefully, they can go camping till October. I hope he will lend them a tent. Stay tuned.

Bye for Now,

Bill

PS Enjoy yourself from now till then as everything goes downhill (or is it uphill?) after then.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS BEING WRITTEN SATURDAY NITE

Hot as we were we went cold in the last six minutes of Thursday nites game.The hot Heat blew a fifteen point lead, hard as that was to believe.Eric plotzed as did all of their fans. My 8 out of 11 from the free throw line could have helped them. I almost jumped on a plane to Dallas to contribute my all. Then I realized that though they would not count my age against me, my height would be a definite disadvantage.

All my life, like the cat cartoon, I have not been overweight,just undertall. That has been a definite disadvantage. I wonder if I can get a handicap sticker for my car?

Go Heat. Save me a spot(at the foul line).

Bye For Now,

Bill

Monday, June 6, 2011

APPROPOS OF FRIDAY'S BLOG

I hope you had a peaceful, pleasant and relaxing weekend and found some HOPE along the way.If not, keep looking for it and you will find it soon.

Bye For Now,

Bill

Friday, June 3, 2011

WORDS WORTH READING

Of all the forces that make for a better world,none is so indispensable, none so powerful as hope. Without hope man is only half alive.

Charles Sawyer

Thursday, June 2, 2011

HOT WE ARE

The Miami Heat are red hot. They start slow, but close strong.

So do I. Today at the park, after warming up, I made 8 for 11 from the free throw line. I kid you not! I really did. And there was a strong wind blowing.

Next season, it will be James, Wade, Bosh and moi. If you think they are unbeatable this season, just wait till next!

Now that's optimism at its finest. Hope you have it, too. Fantasies are free. Enjoy them.

Bye for Now,

Bill

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

THE YIN AND YANG OF TECHNOLOGY

As you know I go hot and sometimes a little cold on our techno world. But, when someone who needed a little support texted me on Saturday night I, once again, realized the value that our New World Order of communications, bring to our tables.

In the old days, that person on a Saturday eve would have called my office number and hopefully, the answering service would have picked up. They would have taken a message and possibly gotten the person's phone number correct. Then, they would try to find me and hopefully, I was home or remembered to take my pager and to change the battery. Then , if I was out, i would have to find a phone and a quarter. Voila, an hour plus later the person might have heard back from me. Maybe. Or maybe Sunday. Maybe never,if it was a new person calling and they mixed up the phone number.It happened many times.

Now, I see the text, respond and we easily go back and forth for a few minutes. My support helps, I receive a thank you message and we go on our way.

Wowy kaflowy! That, my friends, is progress. I just can't help but wonder what further innovations lie ahead. It seems like there can be no more, but there always are new ones coming down the line. It is a great time to be alive. Remember and appreciate that--every day--even when your computer is down, you have too many spam emails and your text is from someone from whom you don't want to hear.

Sorry, my cell phone is ringing. Gotta go.

Bye for Now,

Bill