Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Yesterday I said, "marriage is an unnatural act." For those who don't go back to read the original article ( A Realistic View of Marriage and Divorce)here's why I said that.

In just about every other zone of human experience variation seems to be an important factor. We wear different clothes, read different books, seek out different activities,go different places, etc. The human animal seems to crave variety. Even the inveterate golfer doesn't only play golf.

In marriage, there is minimal variation unless the couple builds that in through concerted effort. I am, by the way, not just referring to sex here. I am referring to patterns of communications, shared activities, domestic responsibilities,etc.Spicing things up, in and out of the bedroom is important to counter the monotony and boredom that can set in.

Years ago, in a previous life I was an organizational psychologist for IBM. One of the projects I worked on was called job enrichment. Its intent was to build in more varying aspects to a routine job so it didn't become repetitious and boring. I would encourage the same mindset in engaging in marriage enrichment. Take a look at your relationship and see what kind of variety you can build into it to add stimulation and excitement. Might be something fun to work on together.

Tomorrow, let's talk about taking each other for granted. That will grow weeds real fast in your garden of love.

Bye For Now,


1 comment:

  1. Growth within the family is a healthy variation; focus and dedication to what "your family" is, is important, it changes all the time: differnent familiy members experiencing a variety of lifes stuff; partners switch hitting, coaching, nurturing, re-joing and re-dedicating for the fun of it if nothing else. Couples, this is a hard pill to swallow; however; Look at yourself for about a year. Look at how you invest your energy, your self-talk; your contribution to the family; the positive and negative effect on your family; just you. Once that becomes clear, things seem to be lighter and easier to manage.
    Dr. Penzer has great ideas on variety being the spice of life. WhY? Because he has lived it and is letting you know, NOW; it's a positive thing in keeping your relationship moving forward and thriving.

    Mimi Gegg, M.Ed
    The Tranquality Center

    William Penzer, Ph.d and Associates