Thursday, May 27, 2010

BECOMING A BETTER GARDENER

In marriage and other long term relationships it is easy to take one's partner for granted. In the courtship stage we put our best feet forward. Over time those same feet start to stink as we ignore the basics of love.

I always say, love is a verb. It is easier to say , "I Love You," than demonstrate it consistently over time. If we went door to door I guesstimate that over 80% of couples have at least one partner feeling their needs are not being met. Similarly, but for children, religious beliefs, financial issues and other practical concerns the divorce rate would be much higher than its current 50%.

Take a step back and look objectively at your partnership. Stop blaming it on him/her.Are you doing everything you can to show your partner, respect, affirmation and loving friendship? Do you want a better relationship? Do you want the relationship to continue? If you answered No, Yes, Yes now is the time to step back into the relationship with a fresh perspective and a new set of re-courtship goals. Find those loving feet and put them forward again. You can do it if you want to. In all likelihood it will be appreciated and reciprocated.

As I have said before, the garden of love needs the equivalent of sunshine, water, fertilizer and weeding.To experience the flowers of love, you need to be a better gardener. You once were. You can be that person again. I am optimistic about that--realistically optimistic.

Bye For Now,

Bill

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate this blog because it speaks the truth. Maintain whatever percentage of good there is in your relationship. Take that percentage and start making sincere and loving deposits into your relationship bank. Dr. Penzer has spoken often of making deposits in our pride banks. In todays blog he gave some ideas about setting re-courtship goals; I would think that initially this should be done with a professional.

    I am a strong believer in the attraction theory, which simply means that what we put "out there" is what we get back. I also beleive that energy, the very life breath that keeps us going everyday, can be directed toward helping and healing situations that need it. Maybe you forgot what the attraction was a while ago, or a long time ago, and maybe you question it now. The good news is today can be the start of your part, in starting the re-courtship process.

    " Your life is simplified enormously when you don't have to defend yourself to anyone, and when you receive support, rather tahn criticism".

    Wayne Dyer

    Mimi Gegg, M.Ed
    Director
    The Tranquility Center

    william Penzer, Ph.D and Associates

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