Friday, January 29, 2010

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART V

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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Fritz Perls, a Gestalt Psychologist once said, "I am me and you are you. If by chance we meet it can be wonderful. If not, it can't be helped." There may have been more, but I can't remember. I had it hanging in my office for many years.

My interpretation was that we are all different creatures and there is no doub that "One person's meat...." My blog of my comfort zones was mean't to be stimulating, not requiring emulating. You may hate the smell of candles. Fountains may evoke nothing but a need to pee. Your music may be heavy metal or (OMG bless) rap! Reading and exercising may be on your bottom 10 list. You may be disappointed in the one you are with. The beach may be equivilent to scratching on a blackboard.

I don't CARE what floats your boat. I want you to start taking better CARE of you. If you do you will be happier and more positive.It is that simple,yet so, so difficult. We can be so stingy with ourselves and so giving with others.

Our differences are why they make chocolate, vanilla and strawberry and many other flavors. Find yours and start licking. If you want to feel happier and more positive do something about it. This is no time for a pity party. This is time to party hardy in whatever way you feel comfortable--as long as it is not GLOPFUL.

I hope you get my drift because I am going walking in the park now and then to the gym. It is finally cool and I am going outside. I hope you go outside the box and find what works for you. I might even shoot a few hoops at the park. It connects me to my youth. Believe me when I say I need all the youth I can find right now cause I ain't too impressed with the aging process, beyond it being a better option than the alternative.

Some day we will all be gone sad to say. Seize the moment right now. You deserve the right to enjoy, feel positive and be happy. If not now, when? Ask yourself, when? I hope you answer right now, this minute and tomorrow as well.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, January 28, 2010

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART IV

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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Yesterday's list of filters can seem overwhelming, so I would work them one at a time like the 12 Steps.

I would also stimulate happiness and positivism by identifying that which provides a sense of comfort, well being and good feelings. I don't know what it is for you, but I will tell you what works for me.

I listen to relaxing music almost all of my waking day. This is relatively new for me. I discovered that my visitors and I greatly enjoyed having relaxing music play in all the offices in Plantation as part of the Tranquility Center. We also have a relaxing DVD playing in the waiting area. I can't for the life of me understand why doctors and dentists have CNN or Family Feud playing in theirs! For me bathing in classical or slow jazz music creates a calming and soothing feeling which in turn feeds into happier,more positive thoughts and feelings.

There is a small fountain in my office and a large one in my home. I find the sound of running water and the visual effects very calming too. I really think everyone needs a fountain in their life.

From time to time I light a candle in my office. The scent wafts through the air pleasantly, while the flickering light has a similar effect to water dripping on a fountain. It's peaceful and comforting.

I read Good Stuff each month. It is a small publication with a huge impact of insights and inspiration. Mostly quotes and a couple of interesting stories. It is a quick read that often lifts you up. Call 800 220 8600 to subscribe. Here is a sampling from 8/09 : "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it will be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't happened yet. I have jjust one day, today, and I'm going to be happy with it." Groucho Marx.

I enjoy the outdoors whenever I can. I walk in the park daily, whenever possible. I like to read or write in my backyard. I go to the beach often. This is like being near a giant fountain. I am about to join Morikami Gardens in Boca (see previous blog) and hope to visit once a month. Being outside,especially when it is not too hot, makes me happy. When it is too hot I go in a pool. I have been in my pool more times in the last couple of months than in the last 10 years. All of these activities help me to feel alive,in touch with nature's wonders and happy.

I don't like doing exercise in particular,but I do like how I feel after I am done. There is no denying that moving about the planet helps release our angst as well as brain chemicals that pump us up emotionally.

I like generativity aka growing stuff. I gave up my fake, plastic plants a few years ago and enjoy tending to live ones on my patio. Tried to grow tomatoes, but in the summer heat they failed. My plants, on the other hand, are doing nicely. Watering them is a loving act. Their growing is giving back.

As I mentioned on the blogs about the author, Pat Conroy, I enjoy reading well written novels. They transport me from my life to others. I get to meet interesting people and enjoy the author's observations and philosophies about life. Reading takes us away from our problems,stressors, etc. and allows us to vicariously observe other people's triumphs and defeats.

I really enjoy writing. Whether it is this blog or an article, writing definitely gives me an outlet and makes me feel happy and proud if it comes out well.

I enjoy nostalgic moments and have recently purchased 10 Dean Martin TV show DVD's. They bring back memories of entertainers no longer with us and memories of simpler,Happy Day, times. I have the complete set of I Love Lucy DVD's and hope to watch them soon as well.

This year I started watching Dolfin games on HDTV. I don't qualify as a true fan,but I am enjoying the action, especially when HD makes me feel that I am in the huddle with them. Today is Sunday and they have a bye week and I am genuinely disappointed. May just have to watch another team today.

Positivsm for me is sparked by my partner. I am pleased to say that we enjoy a close friendship and loveship after almost 50 years of being together--in fact, in many ways it is closer than ever. That rather remarkable connection makes me very happy. I hope you have someone special in your life too--if not now real soon. It is easy to take our partners for granted. We need to appreciate anyone who contributes to our life in a positive way.

So these are my sources of gratification, happiness, positivism and peace of mind. I am not prescribing it for you. I am describing it for you to encourage you to ask yourself, "What gives me pleasure and good feelings?", "What can I do to increase the presence of those presents in my life?", "What gifts can I give myself that will add to my happiness and positivism?"

If, in fact, happiness is a choice, then what choices can you make to add to yours?


Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART III

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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The roads to getting hooked on happy and positivism is a slow one with many obstacles in our path. First you need to get to neutral which, for most people, takes a little while in its own right. Then from neutral we have to reframe the way we look at life. We need to change the filters that cause our thinking patterns which, in turn, greatly influence our emotional reactions aka our feelings.

As I have previously written in a brief article called." The Slow Evolving Process of Personal Growth," (see williampenzerphd.com menu choice writings),our personal growth comes slowly. It also comes at any time which makes the adage,"you can't teach an old dog new tricks," totally untrue. This old dog has learned many new tricks in the past few years! Slow as it might be it is a wonderful and fulfilling feeling when it arrives.

Let's look at some of the filters we need to incorporate inorder to get to positive spaces more of the time:

. gratitude for all the stuff we are thankful for--and we gotta count it all--write
it down if that will help
. acceptance of the many issues over which we have no control (say the serenity
prayer three times a day)
. optomism that things will turn out all right for ourselves and those we love
. healthy denial that bad things happen to other people and not us or ours
. compassion for ourselves and others given our imperfections,limitations
and shortcomings
. a strong sense, based on the reality of our lives, that we deserve happiness,
pleasure,comfort, peace of mind,etc.
. a sentry that catches us going back into negativity and propels us forward into
positive space
. an understanding that happiness and positivism are not always going to be
present when our lives encounter a speed bump,but that we will cope and rise above
and return to positive ASAP--or at least as soon as that is appropriate

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART II

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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Might want to go back and read Friday and Monday blog as this is a series on positivism and happiness.

I believe many of us received a distorted view of happiness as part of our growing up. Holding aside those rasied with neglect and abuse, the majority were made to feel as if their wishes were their parent's commands. Not always, but often enough in most cases, family's try to give to their children and make them happy. This is especially true of the infant and toddler. Thus, for many of us our intro to life was filled with our narcissism being indulged by those around us. It gives the impression that happiness and pleasure are our birthright and that it comes automatically. Nothing could be further from the truth.

At some point along the way reality rules and breaks the magic of our happiness. Parent's divorce, die, lose their jobs, become addicts,etc. Siblings die, taunt us, take our stuff, get pregnant, run away, become addicts, etc. We fail a test, have to do homework, get in trouble,strike out on the ball field or other places, become addicts, get pregnant,get nervous,etc. The happy, fun loving kid gets wounded in so many ways on the battlefield of life. Recess is over and life gets more serious,complicated and demanding as we get older.

This is why feeling positive and happy can be an uphill struggle all the way. The cessful moments of our past have a way of lingering toxicly across the years like raw sewerage. However, we can push past them and rise above them. We can learn from them and let go of them. This is what therapy helps do so well most of the time. As I wrote a week or so ago, therapy comes in many forms.

Your first goal is to find a position between negative and narcissim. Let's call it neutral.This space enjoys the pleasures or comforts of the moment, enjoys thinking of past times that were good and anticipates more of the same in the future. This space does not klnow what lies ahead,but assumes things will work out OK. In this position you literally lift yourself out of negative and try to learn to go with the flow. When the hole of negativity reaches out for you, you step aside and change the channel. A typical self-statement in this position is, "I don't know how the ..speech..dinner party..dentist apopointment...plane ride..whatever.. will go, but I assume it will/I will.be OK. Admittedly not easy, but doable.

Tomorrow we will talk about going from neutral to positive.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, January 25, 2010

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART I

following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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On Friday I blogged about a free group that Mimi, our Director of the Tranquility Center, is starting to help people strengthen their committment to being more positive in their day to day lives. For more information call her at 954 696 1248.

I thought this week I would blog some on that topicand the general area of happiness. The latter is really elusive in today's world. I believe we suffer from information overload. Bad news has always traveled fast,but never faster than now. And, it comes at us from so many different sources.

I encourage people, especially sensitive and emotionally worn people, to block as much of that input as possible. It is important to surround yourself with that which soothes and comforts your soul. Think about what that is for you and think about how you can increase its presence in your life.

Happiness and positivism do not come naturally to most of us. People tend to be overwhelmed by their fears,worries,anticipations and negative expectations. Many dwell on what is or might go wrong as opposed to what is right--RIGHT NOW! One of the goals of a person trying to get to more positive spaces more often is to practice staying in what I call, the moment of the now.

As your mind drifts to negativity like a tongue going right for the hole left by a tooth extraction, pull it back. Change the direction of your thoughts by switching to a different channel. Remind yourself of the present moment and do something to make that moment a little more comforting and a little brighter. Someone once wrote a book called, " Happiness is a Choice."  Start right now to choose it more often.

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com
954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1
check 3/17 blog to know out goals

Thursday, January 21, 2010

THE DAY AFTER IS BLACK FRIDAY

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I don't happen to like the term, even though I understand its origin.

I hope you had a good day yesterday whatever you did. If, for some reason it wasn't, then I hope today and the rest of the weekend goes better.

Life is about ups and downs and sideways sometimes. Hope you go up real soon.


Bye 4 Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898  x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

HOOKED ON HAPPIENESS: PART XIV

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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Fooled you.

Let us summarize what we have been talking about for the last few weeks.

Happiness and positivism are possible. To experience them requires neutralizing historical hurts and forgiving ourselves for historical lapses of judgment. Pardon YOU!

We have a variety of choices when it comes to swallowing Vitaminds. And we can use Mental Floss to clear out the emotional bacteria that try their best to sabatoge us. We need to observe ourselves in how we are taking care of us and give ourselves a larger slice of the "veggie" pie.

All of this is a very active process. Coach potatoes need not apply. However, we can work on ourselves forever. Personal growth is a slow, evolving process. All "old dogs" can learn new ways. Of that I am convinced.

Taking better care of you is an important part of the equation of "happy". I sincerely hope you will work on that equation till you get it to a  better solution for you.


Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

WE CAN ALL GIVE THANKS

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I have previously written about gratitude as an important part of positivism. No matter the situation, everyone has something--usually many things-- for which to be thankful. Even the worst life is better than none.

I encourage you to count it all tomorrow as you hopefully celebrate Thanksgiving in some fashion. I encourage you to be creative in identifying that which for which you can feel thankful--despite the hardships and bad hands that you have drawn. No one gets blackjack hand after hand.

Be sure to thank those who have been there for you in small, medium and larger ways. Hug those who have been there X-Large!

I don't really think Thanksgiving is about the Pilgrims and the Indians. It is about appreciating and loving those to whom you feel grateful. It is about giving thanks to those who have been giving to you.

Talk to you again  on Monday.

Bye 4 Now,

bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, January 18, 2010

THE EVOLUTION OF PERSEVERANCE

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That which we pursue changes over time. I clearly remember persevering with my spelling lists in elementary school as well as my multiplication tables. Truth be known I never persevered when it came to geography or geometry. As for penmanship- faggetaboutit! Sometimes perseverance can be selective. As we get older the less we can afford those degrees of freedom.

Clearly, that which we pursue with vigor and persistence changes as we go along. It is amazing how fast we go from our spelling lists to our kids to our grand kids. School, which can feel so daunting as we go, can feel like life-lite as we look over our shoulder and compare it to our adult responsibilities.

Yet, I believe there is a common theme. The origins are laid down early in our lives, but keep coming at us in one form or another. Our goals are to survive in a prideful way, trying to accomplish enough to sustain ourselves. Survival of the fittest applies as much to spelling tests as to work demands as to family/relationship demands. Life hurls obstacles at us and the old game of dodge ball keeps us on our toes. The balls keep changing, but avoiding getting hit remains the goal.

Even as older people we need to persevere or we won't become even older.Just ask my Mom. She is 98+ and has been persevering all her life. Her claim to fame is that she bounces back. That's perseverance in action. Take a lesson from her playbook. NEVER, NEVER NEVER GIVE UP--No Matter what! She would say, "Go slow,but go slowly forward."

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, January 15, 2010

KINDA SUMS IT UP

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I'm grateful for all my problems. As each of them was overcome,
I became stronger and more able to meet those yet to come. I
grew on my difficulties.

J.C. Penney


The above "penny" for your thoughts observation seems to neatly sum up the issue of perseverance. We`are all faced with problems aka challenges in today's lexicon. Our real challenge is to persevere and persist with patience until we have successfully resolved the issue.

Most importantly, it never hurts to try. It never hurts to ask, question or present your point of view--sometimes more than once. Even if you fail to accomplish your goal, at least you have the satisfaction of having tried and pursued all possibilities. That, in itself, is "winning" no matter the outcome. That alone is a prideful result!


Bye For Now,

Bill


www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, January 14, 2010

THE MANY FORMS OF THERAPY

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I have always said that therapy comes in many different forms. Sitting in a "shrink's" office is only one kind.

To me therapy speaks not only to change and growth, but also to comfort and peace of mind. Think of all the things that offer that--many for free. Include a walk in the park or a bench on the beach, pleasant, relaxing music, a meaningful book, film or play.Also include the kinds of activities offerred by our Tranquility Center Director, Mimi---meditation, guided imagery, biofeedback,heart math...... Your first visit there is complimentary.

Think of those things that give you pleasure and a lift and be sure to add them to your list of weekly,if not daily activities. Take advantage of all the"therapy" life offers. For sure we can all benefit from whatever feeds our comfort and peace of mind.

 Give yourself permission and enjoy!


Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

STAY UP!

On Monday I spoke about my simple life formula where Showing Up was step one. That is not an original thought. I believe it was Woody Allen who said, "80% of success is showing up." I recently scanned a book written by Bill Gates' father called Showing Up For Life. It is a good, quick, simple, downhome read.

At the end he quotes a letter from a friend who was dying that is worth repeating here.

Life is the ultimate teacher, but it is usually
through experience and not scientific research
that we discover its deeper lessons. We are all
here for a single purpose: to grow in wisdom and
learn to love. We can do this through losing as
well as through winning,by having and by not having,
by succeeding or by failing. All we need to do is
to show up openhearted for class...So fulfilling
life's purpose may depend more on how we play than
what we are dealt. You have to be present to win.


Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS READER

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Several people told me about the book, "The Secret" in a way that turned me off. They gave me examples that seemed silly.

The other day someone described it in a way that was similar to what psychologists call self-fulfilling prophecy. That means that our expectations can shape what actually happens under certain situations. For example, positively expecting to win the lottery will not, in my opinion, influence your winning it. The lotto is a random proccess, immune to human thinking and expectations.

However, medical outcomes have been found to be tied directly to our expectations. Anticiapte much pain, scaring and a long reciovery and the odds are that will happen. Expect some, but minimal pain, little scaring and rapid healing and the odds are that will happen. Similarly, expect to do well on a test or in your golf game or whatever performance issue and you will increase the probablility of your doing well. Expect negative outcomes and you increase the odds of them happening. This is precisely why people have been preaching positive thinking ever since Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote the book long ago.

Observe yourself in various settings and listen to your inner voice. Is it positive or negative? If the latter try moving to to a more positive view. If you can't get there, try to get to neutral. That is, "I don't know what will happen,but I am hopeful...".  Eventually, with effort, we can move our minds to more positive expectations.

As for me, I am going to read "The Secret".  I anticipate that much of it will be worth my time and helpful. I will let you know.

Bye For Now,


Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/


954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, January 11, 2010

A SIMPLE FORMULA

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I was recently talking to a young person whose engine seemed to be stuck in neutral.

I said, success in life is not complicated,but it demands effort and discipline. Whether it be school, work, a significant relationship, playing a sport or taking up a hobby it demands:


SHOWING UP
TAKING ACTION
TRYING YOUR VERY BEST

I guarantee that this formula will work for you and think that it probably has many times in your life. So if your tank is empty and your motor not moving you forward, try these steps and you will be on your way again.


Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, January 8, 2010

READING AS THERAPY

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I am allowing myself more time to read novels than I have in the past. I believe it is great therapy to leave your life for a while and enter into a fictional world,making new friends and learning about the challenges of their lives.

One of my all time favorite writers is Pat Conroy--the Prince of a writer who wrote Prince of Tides, The Great Santini, Beach Music and recently, South of Broad. Whenever I read a Conroy book I realize what a wide divide exists between a great writer and one like me. Don't get me wrong, I like the way I write,but compared to him and others in his league I am playing Minor League ball and they are in the Majors.

He makes trhe words sound like a finely tuned chorus, harmonizing together in such a magical and powerful way that you are lifted off your chair and moved into a spellbinding  trance of disbelief that anyone could sound so smooth and rhythmic by using the printed word. Here is a randomly chosen sampling from the first page of South of Broad:

                      I carry the delicate porcelain beauty of Charlston like the hinged shell of some soft-tissued
                      mollusk. My soul is peninsula-shaped and sun-hardened and river swollen. The high tides of
                      the city flood my consciousness each day,subject to the whims and harmonies of full moons
                      rising out of the Atlantic. I grow calm when I see the ranks of palmetto trees pulling guard duty
                      on the banks of Colonial  Lake or hear the bells of St. Michael's calling cadence in the cicada-
                      filled trees along Meeting Street, Deep in my bones I knew early that I was one of those
                      incorrigible creatures known as Charlestonians.

See what I mean--definitely Major League. Me, a clutch singles hitter in the minors! But, hey we need those base hits from time to time.


Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.wiulliampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Survivors Need to Be Us!

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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The funeral I went to yesterday was for a friend’s 91 year old father, Mike. As we drove there I said, “ I’m sure it will be a small gathering.”

When we arrived the chapel was filled with people in their late 70’s+. I quipped it was more people than would be at mine. I was surprised, but understood as the eulogy evolved.

Mike was a survivor of the Holocaust as is his wife. They were part of a large social group of survivors who meet once a month. The woman who spoke broken, but eloquent English at the service said, “ We lost our families in the war so we created a group who could be our extended family.” I couldn’t help but think about people losing their families relative to people losing money. Back then these people who lost family were 10, 15, or 20 years old. There is an undeniable difference between the losses, though both definitely hurt.

The women who spoke at the service summed up the nature of and reason for a support group. This is precisely why we have created them and have encouraged other mental health professionals to do the same. Trauma responds to support. It helps us to know others walk in our shoes. We learn from others who are learning too. Survival is a skill worth knowing.

Reports vary as to why survivors of the Holocaust made it. Some will say it was pure luck. Others say they made it out from that hell because they never lost hope, maintained optimism, watched their backs and helped others do the same. They were able to see an end to their nightmare. We want you to do the same. Nothing fuels recovery like patience, perseverance, positivism—and watching your back.

God bless Mike, his loving family and his support group for all these years. They all deserve that much and more. So do we all! We are all survivors of something, even if it is just the challenges of life!


Bye For Now,

williampenzer.com

954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x301

see 3/17/09 blog to know our goals and pass it on



Bill

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Dow and The Tao

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I’m sure you all learned and remember what a homonym is from your English classes in grade school. NOT! Don’t feel bad. Neither did I. I missed that class along with grammar, punctuation, spelling, penmanship and geography. Not too swift with math either.

A homonym, according my wife (who went to all the classes I missed) and to Funk and Wagnall’s is, “a word identical with another in pronunciation, but differing from it in origin, spelling and meaning.” (p 308)

Isn’t it interesting and amusing that the Dow and the Tao are homonyms as Tao is pronounced dau. Could any two words be more different from one another than these? The Tao is a religion and philosophy founded by Lao Tsu in China 2500 years ago. I wonder what he would feel about the new China? It is amazing how his comments which follow are so appropriate today.

There’s not much good news to quote from the Dow these days (though it is getting a little better), but so much from the Tao. Here is a sampling:

Better stop short than fill to the brim.
Oversharpen the blade and the edge will soon blunt.
Amass a store of gold and jade and no one can protect it.
Claim wealth and titles and disaster will follow.
………………………

Accept disgrace willingly.
Accept misfortune as the human condition.
Accept being unimportant.
Do not be concerned with loss or gain.
……………………...

That which shrinks must first expand.
That which fails must first be strong.
That which is cast down must first be raised.
……………………...


We would love to hear if/how these apply to your situation.

Bye For Now,
Bill
williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x 301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

15 1/2 Relaxing/Fun Things You Can Do for Free

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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• Take a bath by candlelight with or without bubbles.
• Invite your partner or special person to join you ( a good way to clean up your act!).
• Walk in the park or on the beach or just sit on a bench there. Perhaps meet a special person.
• Listen to relaxing music in the bath, on the bench or while walking or while you eat dinner or do the dishes or anytime.
• Watch an old movie on TV.
• Look through albums, pictures or family videos and remember the good old happy days and believe that they will return.
• Dance with your beloved in your living room or any room as if you were teens.
• Write a response (please be kind) to one of our blogs and press submit.
• Do relaxation, meditation, guided imagery, yoga, tai chi or whatever you are comfortable doing to de-stress.
• Spend 5-10 minutes a day remembering happier times and envisioning a healthy, positive future.
• Feel grateful for all you still have despite whatever you have lost.
• Make a list of what is really, really important to you and go for it.
• Go to a free support group…even if it isn’t for a problem you have.
• Get in touch with what made your “inner child/teen” happy. Blow bubbles, skip, shoot hoops, listen to your generation’s music, read a comic or whatever.
• Go to a bookstore or library and read fun stuff for free.
• Think of other things that can work and send your ideas to us. ( This is the 1/2!)

“ HAPPINESS WALKS ON BUSY FEET”
Kitle Turmell

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

Monday, January 4, 2010

Emotional Healing

The following was chosen by one of our faithful readers as their favorite and is being repeated. New blogs will start up February 1, 2010.
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I went to a funeral today. The clergyman said that cuts in our skin cause a scab to form which ultimately makes the skin stronger. He wanted us to see emotional wounds similarly.

I didn’t fully agree. Emotional scabs have a way of making us weaker. We cover over the pain and ultimately it comes back to haunt us. Our bodies and our mind, share similarities but work on different principles. To deal with the economic cuts we have encountered we need to do more than just wait for a scab to form.

For our minds to be stronger requires more than a scab. Body scabs leave a scar that fades. Emotional scabs leave scars that bleed invisibly for long periods of time.

Emotional healing requires an active “working on it” process. Those who do that, as in therapy, counseling, coaching, support groups, workshops, reading, etc. know just how hard they have to work their program. Bodies heal naturally. Minds heal by people committing to a process.

There is, however, nothing wrong with hard work, especially on yourself. Just don’t assume time, wealth or scabs will heal your emotional wounds. The best investment and the highest dividend yields occur when you work on you. That has been both my personal and professional experience. Sadly, there is no band aid or antibacterial ointment for your mind. There is, however, help, hope and personal growth. The latter beats a scab any day.


Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x301
561 361 1898 x301

see 3/17/09 blog to know our goals

HEALTHY/HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS

I am following my own advice for the month of January. I am taking a break and letting my mind rest.

The blogs that will appear are the best of the best as suggested by loyal readers.

Repetition never hurts.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals