Thursday, December 31, 2009

WISHING YOU A NEW YEAR THAT INCLUDES:

HEALTH
FULFILLMENT
PEACE OF MIND
SATISFACTION
SAFETY
COMFORT
SUCCESS
GOAL ATTAINMENT
         AND
        LOVE

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com
954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

DRIVING ME CRAZY AGAIN!

This week three different women driving three different large trucks played chicken with me. They were turning in my direction with one hand. Where was there other hand? You guessed it. Crazy glued to a cell phone.

It is not easy to steer a large vehicle with one hand. It is easy to have a head on collision. If I have to swerve out of your way, I'm not chicken.  You, on the other hand, are delusional. Get a grip or at least a bluetooth. PLEASE! Realize that you are driving a lethal weapon. It requires your attention and both hands. Or, stay the hell out of my way!

Why aren't legislators banning cells without earpieces? It seems like a no brainer and a slam dunk. Call op write them if you agree.

Finally, when heavy rains hit us here in South Florida Thursday and Friday, I passed accident after accident.  Why don't drivers realize that the rains signal slowing down, paying attention and putting down the cell phones? Why don't they realize that an accident will slow them down much longer than going 30 MPH instead of 45-50+?

I hope in 2010 everyone will grow up and face reality, simply because I don't want to get hurt or killed in a crash. Nor do I want my loved ones hurt in any way as well.

Driving is an adult responsibility and if you can't live up to that, perhaps it is time to get a tricycle and move more slowly forward. If you do please wear a helmet.

Bye For Now,

bill

www.williampenzerphd.com
954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

IGNORED AGAIN!

I can deal with being passed up for "Sexiest Man" at this age. Harder to accept not being among the "Most Intriguing." Despite my Tommy B wardrobe I can live with not being among the  best dressed. But, to be passed up again for Person of the Year by Time Magazine is more than I can handle. And to lose to Ben B.

For goodness sakes, he works every 3 months and says to his compatriots, " We are not raising interest rates." They all say," right" and then go for an expensive lunch. Every once in a while he goes to the senate or the congress and tells them what they want to hear. In 2007, he assured us that the sub-prime mortgage problem would not spill onto the general financial markets. That's like someone telling me, "Hurricane Wilma will not destroy your backyard." Optimistic, but wrong.

Or maybe, the truth of the matter is that I help a few people, while people like Ben try their very best to help all people. In that sense, I accept being looked over another year. Who knows, 2010 may be mine. Then again, I could have gotten the Nobel prize for peace. At least I didn't send 30,000 troops into war! And I am a peace loving guy.

Of all things silly, Tiger got the athlete of the decade award last week. Go figure. I was sure he would get  nominated for disappointment of the year. That's one award I will be happy to be passed on. You too! Watch out for the GLOP in 2010 and beyond!

At the end of the day, awards just gather dust. So does falling from grace. Watch your back cause it is not likely that anyone else will.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, December 28, 2009

THE NEXT DECADE

I couldn't help but chuckle after I wrote a blog which used H instead of hell and saw that the cover of Time Magazine was called 'THE DECADE FROM HELL." I am from a different era--definitely!

I thought they did us a disservice and didn't follow my efforts to focus on the positive stuff. They obviously never read any of the hooked on happy blogs!

There were many problems in the past decade. There will be many in the next. But there were and will be many things about which to rejoice. It wasn't a decade from H. The next won't be either.

Life in the 21st Century is complicated. Appreciate that which you have. Ignore that which you don't have. That and only that will make it a decade from Heaven. S__t happens--always has and always will. Move past it quickly.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerpohd.com
954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, December 25, 2009

IN MEMORY OF A YATC GRAD

I have been volunteering at the Youth Automotive Training Program (YATC) for many years. It was founded by Jim & Jan Moran to help delinquent young adults find a better road on which to travel. They are taught auto mechanics, able to obtain a GED and offered many opportunities to learn life skills. Over 90% go on to work and/or obtain additional education via scholarships and live proud and productive lives. A few don't.

Last week, Angel, who graduated two years ago, who wasn't being an angel, drove his car into a tree at 5AM and unfortunately became an angel. My sympathies to his Aunt Carol, the rest of the family and to the staff at YATC. They worked very hard t help him choose a different path.

There is a life lesson here for all of us. We need to stay on healthy and appropriate roads. Being good is not always easy, but being bad often leads to not so good outcomes. If you don't believe me just ask all the high profile people who slammed themselves into a tree of one kind or another in the past few months.

In the spirit of giving today, why not check out yatc.org and send a donation in Angel's name. In that way, you can be an angel here on earth. What more appropriate day to do that than today.

Hopefully, for you and your family, it is a Merry Christmas.

Bye For Now,

Bill

MERRY XMAS

HAPPY HOLIDAY TO ALL.

BILL

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Author Unknown

I was touched by this story. Let's remember all of those who are not home this holiday protecting us from further peril. Gd bless them and their families. Their sacrifices are above and beyond the call.

If you want to support the troops here are a few sites worth visiting:
http://www.give2thetroops.org/
http://www.soldiersangels.org/
http://www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com/
http://www.booksforsoldiers.com/
http://www.uso.org/

--------

The Sack Lunches

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought.

Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.

'Petawawa. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Afghanistan.

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time..

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch.

'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to base.'

His friend agreed.

I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill.  'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him.'

Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?'

'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. 'This is your thanks..'

After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it.

Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars.

Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane.  When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, and said, 'I want to shake your hand.'

Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military pilot.  Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.'  I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.

Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs.

A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.

When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane.  Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars!

Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. 'It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich.

God Bless You.'

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return.

These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals.

It seemed so little...

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.'

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

RATIONALIZATION IS A WONDERFUL THING

I was feeling badly about only losing 7 pounds, when as I shared a few months ago, my goal was 23--the average amount most of us are overweight.

Then I read an article about the stomach bacteria--some of which help us lose weight and some of which prevent that from happening. I know I am flooded with the latter. They have been invading my gastro area since I was a boy.

Pretty soon a pharmaceutical company will come up with a drug to kill them. I am all in for that. It is all their fault---NOT!

Bye For Now,

Bill,

www.williampenzerphd,.com
954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

WHERE'S THE RECESSION/DEPRESSION/BOUNDARIES ?

I was at a holiday lunch today at Capital Grill. It was overfilled.The tables reminded me of Europe where you feel that you are eating and sharing space with strangers. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

It was also noisy and intense which took away from the ambiance.The food was good, but pricey. Service was slow.

I was struck by how silly adults can be. The table next to ours had one of those grab bags where you keep changing gifts. Snuggles were traded for screw drivers, etc. Amazing how a $15 gift can turn into a competitive event replete with put downs that reminded me of the high school locker room.

Maybe I am just an old fart. Or maybe, I am a voice of reason amid a lot of silly stuff. I question whether in these difficult times it is worth it to indulge in expensive lunches and dinners. Wouldn't it be more meaningful to say to staff, friends, referral sources, etc. "This year we shall donate what we would normally spend on a silly party that most pretend to enjoy and can't wait to leave, to a worthwhile charity?"

Humbug!

Bye For Now,

Old Fart Bill,

www.willampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1868 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, December 21, 2009

WHETHER WEATHER MAKES A DIFFERENCE!

On 12/10 the sun sentinel front page compared our weather to Albany, New York and North Dakota. Do people really live in Dakota--north or south? If so, WHY?

We had 85 degrees and sunny the day before. NY had 36 degrees and snow and Fargo was minus 7. I have talked about gratitude before. Now is the time to feel it! Tonight it is 16 in the big frozen apple!

All of this reminded me of why we moved here in '72. I was working as a psychologist for IBM in Westchester County, NY. The weather was beastly and I was convinced our street received double snow and ice. I would get half way up the driveway and slide right back down to the street. My garage doors froze to the floor on a regular basis. We were always sick.

I had to come to do some interviews in Miami in December of '71. I left in a snow storm and arrived on a balmy, sunny, blue sky day.  People talked of their boats while I talked about my sled!That night I called my wife and said, "There is a better way to live and I am not waiting till we are 65 to move here. We relocated in August of '72. Six months later I had an emotional down that lasted five years.

Sun and palm trees do no automatically make for a healthy life. Happy to say I finally got past that and was able to enjoy our lovely weather and so much more.

I am grateful for many things. Hope you are too!

It won't be a white Xmas. But it will be a pleasant one.

Happy holidays.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, December 18, 2009

ANOTHER ROLE MODEL

Two days ago I spoke of Brett Favre and how he inspires us to go beyond the limits. How about Tim Tibow--perhaps the only virgin in Gatorland or in all of Florida over the age of 17!

Tim is a Mormon who practices what they preach. He is an honor student and one heck of an athlete. He cried when they lost the conference game to Bama. I chose to believe he cried for feeling he let down his team and his coach, rather than for any loss of personal glory.

Wednesday he received the Campbell Award for the nation's top scholar-athlete. What an honor. What a guy.

Let us model him.

Bye For Now,
Bill
www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, December 17, 2009

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

We tend to think about those immediately hurt by a scandal or a Ponziac or  other negative event. We often fail to consider the peripheral damage to innocent people not directly involved.

Every time a celebrity, politician, athlete gets caught with his pants around his ankles hundreds of thousands of men get attacked by partners who have caught them cheating in the past. It could be years later and their relationships can be going along just swell, but all those men will hear, "SO, Tiger is your Frat Brother", or  "Can't trust anyone these days...how about you?" or " I'm crying because what happened to the Governor's family happened to ours. Mind's work by association and wounded minds go right there.

The men stand there dumbfounded or pissed saying, "He screwed up, I've been  Saint Peter ( literally) and I'm getting nailed for that SOB's misdeeds?" I call that collateral damage.

Also, beyond those greedy people who got Ponzied, there is a large group of innocents who get burned too. Consider the vendors who catered to Mr. BIG SHOT for a while, the guys who cleaned their Borgoti's and other cars and the people who mowed the lawns of their many houses. The caterers and the fine wine merchants and the watch purveyors, the private jets owners and pilots, hotels restaurants, waiters and waitresses, etc. etc. The domino effect runs wide and very innocent people get hurt too.

One group score well collaterally. The lawyers rise again--some charging $900 an hour and they don't always know how to tell time. I call that collateral privilege for those already privileged. Some guys have all the luck. Just ask Rod Stewart.

But there is yet another group whose collateral damage is the worst of all. The soldiers and their families maimed or killed in war. Also,  the innocent people in war zones who are killed, seemingly on a daily basis. It seems crazy to me that in an age of such sophistication on every level that war still exists as a force of evildoing. May we find peace in 2010 and beyond. It is enough already. Life is hard enough already! PEACE!

Bye For Now,
Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

AN ADMIRABLE ROLE MODEL

We shouldn't focus on the people who fall off the mountain. They get the most coverage, but we should tune out after a while. The news becomes redundant, annoying and a downer.

We need to find healthy role models to inspire us. Brett Favre is one of those people and I was pleased to see him identified by BABA WALTERS as one of the most fascinating people of 2009. I don't know much about him other than he has made several comebacks in his life and having a grand season playing for his long term rivals. He has shown determination, grit and guts, not to mention age inappropriate, but amazing performance. He hasn't fallen from grace best as I know, but plays football with much grace. He just loves playing football and plays it with shock and awe.

He inspires me to feel that age is not a barrier to accomplishment and that it is helpful not to care what others' think in many situations. He plays the game of football and the game of life his way. I try to model his lead. Go out for a pass. NOT!! Go out for an explanation of why your mind is messed up. I'm here for you. Won't be a touch DOWN, but a touch UP!!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

TRUSTBUILDING

Like building muscle, building trust takes some work.We must look away from everything I said yesterday and say, "Most people are honest, decent folk working hard to earn an honest living and loving their partners and children and trying their best to do the right thing. Always a few rotten apples to spoil the barrel. We can't let them spoil our barrel. We need to see past the weeds to the lovely grass, beautiful flowers and tall trees." We need to remain hopeful and optimistic.

We need to proceed with caution--now more than ever--but we need to proceed. We need to surround ourselves with honorable, loyal people and walk or run from those who show themselves not to be. We must assume we will be safe and carry on.

We need to say the serenity prayer three times a day as we can only control so much. Mostly, our own behavior. For the rest we need to let go and let GD or whomever. Our mantra is simply," It will be OK, We and our loved ones will be OK. Let us assume, hope and pray."

A healthy and fulfilling new year to all the good people in the world. Rotten luck for the rest.

Bye For Now,
Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, December 14, 2009

TRUSTBUSTERS

Tiger bites his own ass and balls! No hole in one for him. Have putter, will travel! Maybe he can promo Viagra, condoms, strip clubs and porn sites.

Lettermen a womanizer...but hey, he can laugh it off. The question is can his wife?

Signs on University Drive in Ft. Lauderdale...Watch out for Thieves, Lock Your Doors

Local Pols take small bribes and face large jail terms.

Crazy headlines every single day!

Ft. Lauderdale's, Ponzi Jr.

Multimillion dollar bonus for  bogus execs...and we, the taxpayer, pay them for failing!

Insane health care situation and no real solution in sight.

The Peace prize for a warrior with no track record.

For understandable reasons it is very hard to trust. Tomorrow I will try to outline a plan.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, December 11, 2009

WORDS WORTH READING

AN OPEN MIND COLLECTS MORE RICHES THAN AN OPEN PURSE. (Tell that one to BM and BM Jr.)

THE MANNER IN WHICH IT IS GIVEN IS WORTH MORE THAN THE GIFT.

AN APOLOGY IS THE SUPERGLUE OF LIFE. IT CAN REPAIR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.
Lynn Johnston

YOU CAN EITHER COMPLAIN THAT ROSE BUSHES HAVE THORNS--OR REJOICE THAT THORN BUSHES HAVE ROSES.  (Told you so!)

All from Good Stuff

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.copm

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, December 10, 2009

SOCIOPATHY: PART VI

It is truly hard for people to understand sociopaths such as BM in New York and BM Jr.( aka Scott R. in Ft. Lauderdale. BM got 60 billion, while Jr only 1.2 billion. Still that is reported to be the largest fraud case in the State of Florida, the capital of Ponziacs and other assorted sociopaths.

Jr's attorney was quoted last week as saying,"...I believe that he is truly a decent human being...". That is like nominating Jack The Ripper for an eagle scout or that the man who killed about a dozen women in the mid west and kept their body parts around his house is the life of the party. Death of the party, don't you think?

Then we had Jr's old friends weigh in including a school roommate, classmates and a girl he kissed tenderly in High School. The general conclusion was that his becoming a sociopath didn't occur till he entered the profession of law. Give me a break.

Sociopathy starts young. He probably took someone elses' pencil in first grade. He most likely kissed three girls on the same day and fed them all the same bs line. He  probably borrowed money from two of them and never returned it. You just don't have a conscience for a while and then lose it like an umbrella. If you don't have a conscience, you don't have a conscience. And you can't buy one--just an image-temporarily!

As for being a decent human being, let's just say he knew how to imitate one. The Platters sang, "Oh Yes I'm The Great Pretender" years ago. Ponziacs have excellent pretender skills. They seem like the greatest, most decent people, but are , in fact, the opposite.

 Decent people don't lie, cheat or steal. They don't say A and mean X. They don't take from friends, family and associates. They don't disgrace themselves and those around them.,
Decent people, behave, well, decently and follow the rules. They earn money the old fashioned way--they work for it. Decent people aren't sociopaths and sociopaths are not decent people. 

Watch out for them. They are all around  and they want you---indecently!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

BAD FRIDAY!

I guess the fact that I missed a blog on Friday--the first time that happened--is a barometer of just how busy I am these days.

I have had so much going on--home renovations, two articles, two holiday parties last weekend, an ailing 99+ mother, planning a trip, etc.--that I completely forgot about the blog.

As I didn't receive cards and letters dissing me for doing that suggests that everyone else is busy too. On a previous web site I had a cartoon I created that showed a woman sitting on my office love seat, holiday shopping bags all around and her comment was, "I am just too stressed to come back for my therapy until next year."

I hope you and I will take a deep breath and allow the holidays to be pleasant and peaceful instead of a stress factory.

In fact, in January, I am going to let my mind rest and repeat some of the best of the best of my blogs. If you have a particular favorite let me know.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerephd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

CODEPENDENT FOREVER!

I am writing an article with a colleague about codependency as it relates to addiction.  How about one that relates to the internet?

When my modem died I felt as if I was mourning a close friend. I was disconnected. My I dentity was severed. Even my I phone, used to routing in my house, wouldn't work. I had to vacate the premises just to check email.

Today, I actually had to call people I would have normally emailed which forced me to behave socially. Oh, the indignity of it all. I felt like it was the 1990's all over again. Thank goodness, Al Gore invented the internet!

In some ways it was a wonderful feeling, except for the fact that I knew everyone else was wired in and connected and I wasn't. Reminded me of being invited to a party when I was 16 and then coming down with bronchitis and 104 fever. Who got to feel up Susie will always remain as mystery in my mind?

But as I predicted today is fine. I bought another modem that actually comes with a wireless router and the $100 charge is refunded by AT&T for reasons I can not understand. If they said it is $100 I would have been more than happy to pay that amount or more just to go to the internet party. Now I can return a wireless router I bought just two weeks ago. Keep in mind in addition to checking email obsessively, ever since a lady told me I had to, writing and posting my blog, processing credit cards and paying bills on line I am hooked--addicted actually-- to the internet. Best as I know so is everyone else! We are codependent forever and like all addictions it well get progressively worse--or better depending on your point of view.

Thank goodness I don't have to call anyone tomorrow! It's all good.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, December 7, 2009

I DENTITY LOST

My voice is shut down,
My blog is blank,
I wear a frown,
My words have sank,
My modem is dead,
I'm not online,
No time for dread,
It will be fine.


Tomorrow!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

TRUST 101: PART I

I didn't want to get to this topic last week because of Thanksgiving. I needed to stay positive before the holiday. There is no way to stay positive when we talk about trust.

Trust is a confusing issue. We tend to project our own trustability onto others. That is our first mistake.

Most sociopaths seem eminently trustable. Their image is squeaky clean. Their reputation is holy. They surround themselves with the right people. They are very shrewd and cunning. They lie, cheat and steal in ways that are unimaginable to us.

Not all sociopaths are about money and Ponzi schemes. Think killers, rapists, muggers, etc. Sociopaths without a conscience are weapons of mass destruction.

Read or see the local news and  you will find them in headlines everyday. On 11/30/09 the Sun Sentinel said,  "Cyber Criminal Lurk Online". Must be the person who send me urgent news about my account  and my need to provide info immediately. Or the gal who wants to share 11 million with me...for a small fee. The good news is they are few and far between. The bad news is that they are.

Many years ago I said, "It is not paranoid to be paranoid anymore." That is more true than ever. Go boldly forward, but watch your back.

Read Harold Kushner's ( Why Bad Things Happen To Good People) new book, "Conquering Fear: Living Boldly in an Uncertain World."

Bye 4 Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1868 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

SOCIOPATHY: PART V

I had a change of mind.  I don't think sociopaths say anything to themselves. I think they are so busy doing that they are limited in their thinking and even more so in their self-talk.

I believe they are caught up in an addiction co-mingled with  delusion. They live in psychotic-like, charisma filled space. Their train has gone off the track and they don't know it till their game is up.

It comes crashing down in a  furious flash. It spirals in all directions. They have committed a form of suicide. Death might actually be a better option.

Don't even try to understand it. Just try to learn from it. By all means avoid it. If it is too good to be true....You know the rest.

Bye 4 Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

GRATITUDE: ONE MORE TIME

The hurricane season ended yesterday.

Back when it began I drove through many neighborhoods and marveled at how South Florida finally came back from Wilma. The trees were back and the roofs returned. Blue tarps were few and far between. I thought about so many places here and there that were creamed by serious storms over the last many years. Who could possibly forget New Orleans? I root for their football team out of respect and hope they go all the way undefeated! They need and deserve a major win.

So let us breath a collective sigh of relief and say thanks to mother nature for going very easy on us this year. And let us ask the media to go easy on us next season. Their hype hurts and is often way off base.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, November 30, 2009

POST THANKSGIVING SUMMARY

My hope is that you had a pleasant weekend and felt grateful for what you have. I hope as well that you were able to celebrate in some fashion, however small, no matter what troubles befall you. I hope that you were with a person/ people you love and who love you.

My family celebration was particularly nice. We had a family reunion which included my 99 year old ailing Mother, who had a happy time. All is good for now.

Starting tomorrow we will get serious again. I promise.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, November 27, 2009

THE DAY AFTER IS BLACK FRIDAY

I don't happen to like the term, even though I understand its origin.

I hope you had a good day yesterday whatever you did. If, for some reason it wasn't, then I hope today and the rest of the weekend goes better.

Life is about ups and downs and sideways sometimes. Hope you go up real soon.


Bye 4 Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898  x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A PLEASANT HOLIDAY WEEKEND

Enjoy. Treat yourself and your family well. Give and receive love. Relax, chill and be happy.

We will get serious again next week.

Bye 4 Now,
Bill

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Holidays

My thanks to you for reading my blog.

Bye 4 Now,

Bill

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

WE CAN ALL GIVE THANKS

I have previously written about gratitude as an important part of positivism. No matter the situation, everyone has something--usually many things-- for which to be thankful. Even the worst life is better than none.

I encourage you to count it all tomorrow as you hopefully celebrate Thanksgiving in some fashion. I encourage you to be creative in identifying that which for which you can feel thankful--despite the hardships and bad hands that you have drawn. No one gets blackjack hand after hand.

Be sure to thank those who have been there for you in small, medium and larger ways. Hug those who have been there X-Large!

I don't really think Thanksgiving is about the Pilgrims and the Indians. It is about appreciating and loving those to whom you feel grateful. It is about giving thanks to those who have been giving to you.

Talk to you again  on Monday.

Bye 4 Now,

bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I DENTITY FOUND!

I'm back on track,
Plugged into a wrong jack,
Like a quarterback and a sack,
Thanks for not giving me flack.

This world of ours works very well,
Until a small snafu takes us right to H...
We are at the mercy of those in the know,
Let's appreciate them, cause they run our show.

I will give thanks on Thursday for my wife and life partner, Ronnie, of almost 50 years my family, friends, colleagues and for Brad, Justin, Maria, Maritza and George and all the other people who have helped us and the lovely, soft-spoken AT&T man who came to my house at no charge and put the phone plug into the right jack--and that ain't JACK!

Bye 4 Now,

Bill,

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Monday, November 23, 2009

I dentity LOST

My internet access is down,
My face wears a frown,
But I preach positive spin,
Through which we can win,
So I see it as a break,
Which I will happily take!

Bye 4 now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
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Friday, November 20, 2009

SOCIOPATHY:PART IV THE ADDICTION PROCESS

Who ever said that addiction was limited to drugs, alcohol and the like. People get addicted to many things including making/taking money. Sociopaths get addicted to swine flu in the piggy, piggy, piggy sense of the term!

Bernie in New York and baby Bernie here in Florida liked the limelight and the sense of self- importance. They liked the multiple homes, cars and celebrity status. They liked the drivers,body guards and other aids who served them. They liked the POWER--plain and not so simple. They were addicts, no different than junkies on the streets. They were hooked on taking people for a ride. They were absolutely addicted to their scheme of choice! Abusing others served them well for a while and poorly now given that they were caught with their pants around their ankles--really no pants or undies at all. They have come undone, just like all addicts eventually do.

The sociopath is addicted to dishonor and they just can't help themselves. Watch out for them. They are out there and looking for you as we speak. Next week we will look at the complex issue of trust in the 21st century.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

SOCIOPATHY:PART III WHAT SOCIOPATHS SAY

They say to themselves, "Screw Them." They say, "I will be able to make this right eventually." They say, "I don't have time right now to figure it all out, but I will." They live in delusional space where the rubber doesn't quite meet the road. But they are going so fast it doesn't really matter. Screech!

Juggler's of this kind don't have much time to think as they are mostly busy covering themselves, generating more revenues and being given awards. Before they fall from grace they enjoy a few moments of being acknowledged. The sociopath is good at associating with noble causes. They surround themselves with the sound of heavenly music. They are seen as the pillars of the community, until those pillars collapse in an OMG gasp.

I don't want to sound as if I am soft on sociopaths, but I think they are really seriously disordered people and need help--serious help. They are as addicted to their game as those on H and Coke. More about this tomorrow.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

SOCIOPATHY:PART II

The first thing you need to know about the BM's (sociopaths) of the world is that they lack a well defined conscience.  Freud taught us about the id, ego and superego. The latter is our conscience and that helps us know right from wrong--most of the time.

The id represents our primitive parts that need to be checked at the door. The id is Adam and Eve all over again. The super ego plays by the rules. The ego tries to mediate between the two so that at least most of the time we color in the lines.

Sociopaths have no conscience and a very  weak ego. They are narcissistic and mostly id based. They say, on many levels, " FEED ME NOW! " They worry mostly about themselves. Others are pawns to their kings and queens in the chess game of life. They love power more than they love anyone else. They are greedy, selfish and  consumed  by their own ambitions. They are in a "NO LIMIT" game of Texas Hold-Them! We are their victims.

What do they say to themselves?  Tomorrow, we will address that.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzderphd.com

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

SOCIOPATHY: PART I

It is really hard for most of us to understand the Bernie Madoff's of the world. A recent Baby Bernie in Fort Lauderdale brings it all home again--this time a little too close for comfort.

Most people are honorable. They work hard, are loyal and say what they mean and mean what they say. But a rare few are not honorable. They lie, cheat, steal and otherwise take advantage. They are charming and know intuitively how to convey an image of success and sincerity. They can look you in the eye and lie without blinking!

The rest of us find it both curious and shocking. How does someone swindle one or fifty billion dollars? How do lesser folk do several million? How is it possible for intelligent and seemingly decent people steal from friends, neighbors, family,  charitable organizations, etc.?

Tune in tomorrow to understand the inner workings of a sociopath. It is a most diabolical scene.

 Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
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Monday, November 16, 2009

GLOP

I write about glop a lot. Glop is anything that tempts us into self-defeating behavior. Certainly junk food is right up there in Glopville!

Last week in the Sun Sentinel there was an article that researchers have found that junk food may be as addictive as heroin and cocaine--at least for rats. As we all know rats and people are not that different brain wise. We may not be all that different mind wise either. Think PONZI HERE!

In any event, rats given unlimited access to junk food went for it. They even suffered shocks to get to it. Please don't tell animal rights activists about this research!

As in all addiction they became more attached as time went on and their "addiction" became progressive. "After 40 days of unrestricted access to the junk foods, the rats were then switched to a more nutritious food pellet. They refused to eat, even though they were clearly starving."

WOW!  Rats sound a heck of a lot like people. Pass the potato chips PLEASE.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Friday, November 13, 2009

SPITBALL

I really enjoyed watching the World Series. As a kid from the Bronx I certainly enjoyed watching the Yankees win. I understand that if you are a Redsox fan I just lost you as a fan of this blog. Sorry! Go Botox, next year! Sorry, Bosox!

HOWEVER, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY BASEBALL AND SPITTING ARE SYNONAMOUS? I LEARNED EARLY IN LIFE THAT PUBLIC SPITTING WAS DISGUSTING AND UNACCEPTABLE! Here are these men earning millions upon millions of dollars compulsively spitting on national TV. Note that the umps don't spit--they just repeatedly screw up the calls! Their spit is virtual.

Perhaps when baseball and chewing tobacco were one I might have understood it better. Best as I know tobacco is banned and bubble gum is the allowed chew. Double bubble, best as I recall, does not require spitting.

Here is my explanation. Baseball is the most boring of all sports except for that silly Olympic game where brooms are used to move a puck-like object along. It is big in Canada. It has a name, but I have forgotten it. I turn it off as fast as Family Feud!

In any event, baseball is so boring that the players and coaches have to do something to keep themselves awake and that is chewing vigorously and spitting...not to mention grabbing their testicles like rap stars. As role models for the young there needs to be some rules-- (i.e., you can spit 3 times in a game and grab your crotch twice). Anymore than that is an automatic out.

Believe me when I say it doesn't play well on TV. But the Yankees did and that was nice.

Bye For Now,
Bill

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

WHEN A WALK IN THE PARK ISN'T!

This morning, 11/5/09 I went for my walk in the park. The sky was gray, but it wasn't raining. I got about a third around and the heavens opened up. It was a long route back to my car and by the time I arrived I was soaked.

The negative person would say," Shoot. The rain clouds follow me literally and figuratively. Just can't catch a break. I really wanted to walk. It's not fair."

Easy to go there, but I opted to follow my own advice. Here is what I said:

                              I am grateful I can walk. The sun shines in Florida 9+ out of 10 times.
                              This gives me more time at the gym and less stress in fitting it all in. I
                              can walk tomorrow. Should be my biggest problem in life. It's all good.

Try thinking that way when your expectations are blocked by uncontrollable events. Happiness, in many, but not all situations, may very well be a choice.

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: XVII

I SEEM TO HAVE BECOME ADDICTED TO HAPPY.  Not a bad thing, really! I hope the same happens to you. If it gets to bad we will start a happy addict support group. Come to the group and learn to be miserable. Sorry, but most of us know how to do that without further training.

In any event, I forgot a dental floss app. How's that for combining yesterdays blog about I technology with happy technology? How about if all of you loyal readers--all 6 of you-- start coming up with blog apps like they do for I Phones? We will charge 99 cents each. OK, we will give them away. Anything to make the world a little happier.

In any event, I forgot ACCEPTANCE as mental floss. Many painful, sad things are beyond our control or alteration. Either they are in the past or we just can't influence the present outcome in any direct way. Prayer may help, but beyond that we are powerless. Accepting the situation and sometimes just surrendering to it allows us to neutralize its emotional impact. Acceptance short circuits, anxiety, guilt and sometimes even depression.

Here is an example for someone layed off from work. Not my fault the economy is in the toilet. Doesn't make me  a bad person as I was loyal employee. I may not happy about the situation, but I am accepting it for what it is and mobilizing my energies to find a new job and move forward. I am proud of the job I did and the affiliation I had. I ACCEPT THIS AND THEREFORE WILL LET GO OF THIS AND MOVE ON. Tomorrow is what counts.

It is just that kind of dental floss that minimizes the spread of emotional bacteria.

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzerphd.com

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

HOOKED ON I

I was a PC for many years. Now I am a Mac. I have an I phone and an IMac. To all of those people who shouted the praises of the I phone I thank you. It is truly amazing. It is really a computer that fits in the palm of your hand and also is a phone. Steve Jobs and his mighty band of engineers deserve  a prize beyond their stock price. In fact, since writing this, I learned he was voted CEO OF THE DECADE.

When I worked for IBM --'66-'72--  oversized computers lived in large, cold rooms. Now they live in our pockets.  AMAZING!!!

I can speak into it and it googles me to what I say. INCREDIBLE!!!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Monday, November 9, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: XVI

One more time ands that is it for now.

                         LIFE ITSELF CAN'T GIVE YOU JOY,
                         UNLESS YOU REALLY WILL IT;
                         LIFE JUST GIVES YOU TIME AND SPACE,
                         IT'S UP TO YOU TO FILL IT.
                         Good Stuff, 10/09

TOLD YOU !

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Friday, November 6, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART XV

One last thought on the subject of happy and positivism. I have always been struck by the parallels between running a company or a country and running our SELF. I have even written some articles on "Becoming the CEO of YourSELF". Seeking happiness and more positive perspectives requires managing our personal corporation well and fairly distributing resources that include you. Notice how the following quote can apply just as well to us:

                         "The foreigh policy that Obama favers, patient diplomacy on a multitude of fronts,
                           requires qualities of wisdom, horse-trading and fortitude."
                           Joe Klein, Time Magazine,10/26

I encourage you to persevere wisely and patiently as you horse trade for a happier position in the race we call life!

Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzerphd.com

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Thursday, November 5, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART XIV

Fooled you.

Let us summarize what we have been talking about for the last few weeks.

Happiness and positivism are possible. To experience them requires neutralizing historical hurts and forgiving ourselves for historical lapses of judgment. Pardon YOU!

We have a variety of choices when it comes to swallowing Vitaminds. And we can use Mental Floss to clear out the emotional bacteria that try their best to sabatoge us. We need to observe ourselves in how we are taking care of us and give ourselves a larger slice of the "veggie" pie.

All of this is a very active process. Coach potatoes need not apply. However, we can work on ourselves forever. Personal growth is a slow, evolving process. All "old dogs" can learn new ways. Of that I am convinced.

Taking better care of you is an important part of the equation of "happy". I sincerely hope you will work on that equation till you get it to a  better solution for you.


Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART XIII

Perhaps I am getting too hooked on happy. We may leave this subject tomorrow,but will return to it again.

If I were naming today's blog I would title it "Pardon Me!"  To be truly happy and positive we need to rid ourselves of guilt. There are very few among us who haven't done something we now regret. Pat Conroy says, "Being an asshole is only another phrase for the human condition." (South of Broad, p.363).

Assuming no one got hurt other than you, perhaps it is time to forgive yourself. Terrible people get pardoned. I doubt if what you did was that bad. Please try to show some mercy for your SELF! We have a really awful tendency to carry our emotional debts forward, The liklihood is that we have paid our dues many times over.

It takes some work, but you can let go of your history that is no longer relevant. Update your program to NOW.  The reward will be the ability to enjoy it undiluted by the past. "People change. That's one of the nice parts of growing up." (Conroy, South of Broad, p361).

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART XII

Finally found it. Here is another version of what I said yesterday. repetition is part of the process!

I left  out a chief source of mental floss. We all need to pump up our voice of reassurance on an ongoing basis. That voice helps us to cope with and overcome our fears and anticipatory anxieties.

Many of us missed out on that voice due to worrisome parents. Some of us missed out on that voice because of absentee or abusive parents. A few of us missed out because we weren't paying attention.

In any event, it is never too late to reassure ourselves that we and those we love will be OK. It does take some practice. Like building muscle in the gym, it takes some repetition. But eventually, you will be able to say to yourself, "It will be OK, I will be OK, We will be OK."

That kind of mental floss is valuable in supporting us during difficult and challenging times.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
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Monday, November 2, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART XI

Somewhere in cyberspace this blog was lost.

What I said was that I left out a  key mental floss string. That is the Voice of Reassurance.

We all need to talk to ourself to help us through the scary and anxiety provoking parts of our life. We need to be able to say, "I/you will be OK. We will get through this. There is no significant danger. Take it easy and go slow. Take a deep, deep breath and push through your /our fears."

The voice of reassurance is something that needs practice and repetition. You may not have inherited one based upon your upbringing. You can create one based upon your desire to enjoy a happier and more positive outlook. Walk the walk until you can talk the talk of reassuring your SELF!

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART IX

As I said yesterday my list of vitaminds now is much longer than it was in 1989. I would define a vitamind as anything that we do that has potential positive influence on our mind and that encourages  happier feelings. Many also add to our pride banks as well.

The following list is not comprehensive and does not take into account individual preferences which may not personally enjoy that which I define as vitaminds. Each person needs to create his/her own list. The list is not in any particular order:

                                     physical activity
                                     relaxation tools such as meditation, yoga, guided imagery,etc
                                     healthy eating habits
                                     taking medications when appropriate and administered by a physician
                                     outdoor activities including parks and the beach for South Floridians
                                     going to an art show or museum
                                     going to a fair or festival
                                     occasional distractions like reading, TV or movies
                                     making love/having sex
                                     calling a friend
                                     gardening
                                     playing board games
                                     getting a massage,going in a hot tub,steam or sauna
                                     floating on a raft
                                     listening to music
                                     arts and crafts of any kind
                                     taking a trip
                                     enjoying a bubble bath with or without candles
                                     having an OCCASIONAL glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage
                                     pursuing any hobby or personal interest
                                     taking a class for fun or profit
                                     repeating affirmations on a daily basis
                                     writing your own personalized affirmations
                                     sending yourself an email or text every once in a while reminding yourself of
                                     your specialness or whatever the message you need to remember
                                     playing or watching your favorite sport
                                     doing something you used to enjoy doing

I am sure I left many things out. Feel free to comment with any that I didn't include. It would be interesting to do an audit of sorts to see how much of your time you do any of these.It will provide a clear barometer for how well you are taking care of you and how you are or are not contributing to your happiness. I, for one, hope you are.

Tomorrow I want to talk about mental floss.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

see 3/17 blog to know our goals
                                    
                                   

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART VIII

Yesterrday I used the term "vitaminds".  I first used that phrase in 1989 in "Getting Back Up From An Emotional Down." If you have the book look on page 174. If you don't let me know and I will give you one. I still have over 10,000 copies in my garage. It was a great book, but not a best seller. How's that for positivism. I'm just happy I wrote a book--3 actually. If you are a publisher my contact info is down below!

The subheading was "Vitaminds Instead of Landmines". It talks about the positive,validating and reinforcing aspects of therapy. It then goes on to say, "if you have reached a point of neutrality on your own,you then need to include more positive statements in your daily diet....I am referrring, however, to giving ourselves internal acknowlegementswhen we deserve them....Our fight for a more compassionate sense of self is one that involves challenging and overcoming all the inaccurate and exaggerated standards which we were taught....We need as much positive self as we can muster".  I couldn''t agree with me more!

However, today I would include a much longer list of Vitaminds

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART VII

If you read my blog on Thursday (and if you haven't I recommend it) you begin to realize that happiness and positivism require energies being directed in specific ways. Achieving those states of being is not a passive process (see previous blogs on active vs. passive). They require we make some committments to our selves that allow investing some of our time in ways that strenghthen those feelings.

The good news is that we don't have to invest alot of money in the process. Most of the time, that which feeds happy and positive are not costly. In fact, the expensive stuff seems to satisfy in the moment,but fades quickly over time. The new car gets dirty and scuffed and the new whatever is often taken for granted within months of its arrival--not always,but often.

Our stinginess enters in because we as people typically don't prioritize our needs. Lots of times we don't even think about them as we run about the planet in a tizzy and a tailspin prioritizing others over ourselves. I am encouraging you to think about this area and begin to identify what "vitaminds" will work for you. Step 2 is allowing the time to engage in them. If you do, Step 3 is more positive feelings and greater happiness.

More on this tomorrow.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1


check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, October 26, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART VI

In Friday's blog I mentioned GLOP. Glop is a way some seek to find happiness. Believe me when I say it is not there. Glop breeds trouble and pain, sadness and loss. Glop is everywhere and it calls our name.

Glop is a word I use to symbolize the self-defeating, self-destructive,greed-based temptations that surround us.There is glop in a plate, in a glass, pill bottle, street drugs, casino, boardroom and bedroom. There is glop in shops and on credit cards. Porno is glop too as are inappropriate emails and texts or voice mails.

Intriguingly, when we are unhappy glop is well positioned to strike our vulnerable parts. When we are unhappy, we are more likely to say, "What the hey..." When we are in physical or emotional pain glop sneaks in where angels fear to tread. Glop takes advantage of our vulnerable child parts that want what they want when they want it. Just ask the child molestor coach, the politicians snagged a few weeks ago, the ponzi scheamer dreamers, the husband or wife whose emails or texts outed their daliences or the people who got DUI's this week, how happy and positive they are right now?

Watch the glop. Stop the glop.In the long run it always plays out like a sad country song. Manage your life well and avoid the temporary nonsolutions of glopful encounters. There are much better ways to seek a more permanent positivism and happiness. Read last weeks blogs for openers.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1


check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, October 23, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART V

Fritz Perls, a Gestalt Psychologist once said, "I am me and you are you. If by chance we meet it can be wonderful. If not, it can't be helped." There may have been more, but I can't remember. I had it hanging in my office for many years.

My interpretation was that we are all different creatures and there is no doub that "One person's meat...." My blog of my comfort zones was mean't to be stimulating, not requiring emulating. You may hate the smell of candles. Fountains may evoke nothing but a need to pee. Your music may be heavy metal or (OMG bless) rap! Reading and exercising may be on your bottom 10 list. You may be disappointed in the one you are with. The beach may be equivilent to scratching on a blackboard.

I don't CARE what floats your boat. I want you to start taking better CARE  of you. If you do you will be happier and more positive.It is that simple,yet so, so difficult. We can be so stingy with ourselves and so giving with others.

Our differences are why they make chocolate, vanilla and strawberry and many other flavors. Find yours and start licking. If you want to feel happier and more positive do something about it. This is no time for a pity party. This is time to party hardy in whatever way you feel comfortable--as long as it is not GLOPFUL.

I hope you get my drift because I am going walking in the park  now and then to the gym. It is finally cool and I am going outside. I hope you go outside the box and find what works for you. I might even shoot a few hoops at the park. It connects me to my youth. Believe me when I say I need all the youth I can find right now cause I ain't too impressed with the aging process, beyond it being a better option than the alternative.

Some day we will all be gone sad to say. Seize the moment right now. You deserve the right to enjoy, feel positive and be happy. If not now, when? Ask yourself, when? I hope you answer right now, this minute and tomorrow as well.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, October 22, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART IV

Yesterday's list of filters can seem overwhelming, so I would work them one at a time like the 12 Steps.

I would also stimulate happiness and positivism by identifying that which provides a sense of comfort, well being and good feelings. I don't know what it is for you, but I will tell you what works for me.

I listen to relaxing music almost all of my waking day. This is relatively new for me. I discovered that my visitors and I greatly enjoyed  having relaxing music play in all the offices in Plantation as part of the Tranquility Center. We also have a relaxing DVD playing in the waiting area. I can't for the life of me understand why doctors and dentists have CNN or Family Feud playing in theirs! For me bathing in classical or slow jazz music creates a calming and soothing feeling which in turn feeds into happier,more positive thoughts and feelings.

There is a small fountain in my office and a large one in my home. I find the sound of running water and the visual effects very calming too. I really think everyone needs a fountain in their life.

From time to time I light a candle in my office. The scent wafts through the air pleasantly, while the flickering light has a similar effect to water dripping on a fountain. It's peaceful and comforting.

I read Good Stuff each month. It is a small publication with a huge impact of insights and inspiration. Mostly quotes and a couple of interesting stories. It is a quick read that often lifts you up. Call 800 220 8600 to subscribe. Here is a sampling from 8/09 :  "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it will be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't happened yet. I have jjust one day, today, and I'm going to be happy with it." Groucho Marx.

I enjoy the outdoors whenever I can. I walk in the park daily, whenever possible. I like to read or write in my backyard. I go to the beach often. This is like being near a giant fountain. I am about to join Morikami Gardens in Boca (see previous blog) and hope to visit once a month. Being outside,especially when it is not too hot, makes me happy. When it is too hot I go in a pool. I have been in my pool more times in the last couple of months than in the last 10 years. All of these activities help me to feel alive,in touch with nature's wonders and happy.

I don't like doing exercise in particular,but I do like how I feel after I am done. There is no denying that moving about the planet helps release our angst as well as brain chemicals that pump us up emotionally.

I like generativity aka growing stuff. I gave up my fake, plastic plants a few years ago and enjoy tending to live ones on my patio. Tried to grow tomatoes, but in the summer heat they failed. My plants, on the other hand, are doing nicely. Watering them is a loving act. Their growing is giving back.

As I mentioned on the blogs about the author, Pat Conroy, I enjoy reading well written novels. They transport me from my life to others. I get to meet interesting people and enjoy the author's observations and philosophies about life. Reading takes us away from our problems,stressors, etc. and allows us to vicariously observe other people's triumphs and defeats.

I really enjoy writing. Whether it is this blog or an article, writing definitely gives me an outlet and makes me feel happy and proud if it comes out well.

I enjoy nostalgic moments and have recently purchased 10 Dean Martin TV show DVD's. They bring back memories of entertainers no longer with us and memories of simpler,Happy Day, times. I have the complete set of I Love Lucy DVD's and hope to watch them soon as well.

This year I started watching Dolfin games on HDTV. I don't qualify as a true fan,but I am enjoying the action, especially when HD makes me feel that I am in the huddle with them. Today is Sunday and they have a bye week and I am genuinely disappointed. May just have to watch another team today.

Positivsm for me is sparked by my partner. I am pleased to say that we enjoy a close friendship and loveship after almost 50 years of being together--in fact, in many ways it is closer than ever. That rather remarkable connection makes me very happy. I hope you have someone special in your life too--if not now real soon. It is easy to take our partners for granted. We need to appreciate anyone who contributes to our life in a positive way.

So these are my sources of gratification, happiness, positivism and peace of mind. I am not prescribing it for you. I am describing it for you to encourage you to ask yourself, "What gives me pleasure and good feelings?", "What can I do to increase the presence of those presents in my life?", "What gifts can I give myself that will add to my happiness and positivism?"

If, in fact, happiness is a choice, then what choices can you make to add to yours?


Bye For Now,

Bill 
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART III

The roads to getting hooked on happy and positivism is a slow one with many obstacles in our path. First you need to get to neutral which, for most people, takes a little while in its own right. Then from neutral we have to reframe the way we look at life. We need to change the filters that cause our thinking patterns which, in turn, greatly influence our emotional reactions aka our feelings.

 As I have previously written in a brief article called." The Slow Evolving Process of Personal Growth," (see williampenzerphd.com menu choice writings),our personal growth comes slowly. It also comes at any time which makes the adage,"you can't teach an old dog new tricks," totally untrue. This old dog has learned many new tricks in the past few years! Slow as it might be it is a wonderful  and fulfilling feeling when it arrives.

Let's look at  some of the filters we need to incorporate inorder to get to positive spaces more of the time:
                            
                                . gratitude for all the stuff we are thankful for--and we gotta count it all--write
                                  it down if that will help
                                . acceptance of the many issues over which we have no control (say the serenity
                                  prayer three times a day)
                                . optomism that things will turn out all right for ourselves and those we love
                                .  healthy denial that bad things happen to other people and not us or ours
                                . compassion for ourselves and others given our imperfections,limitations
                                  and shortcomings
                                 . a strong sense, based on the reality of our lives, that we deserve happiness,
                                   pleasure,comfort, peace of mind,etc.
                                 . a sentry that catches us going back into negativity and propels us forward into
                                   positive space
                                  . an understanding that happiness and positivism are not always going to be
                                    present when our lives encounter a speed bump,but that we will cope and rise above
                                    and return to positive ASAP--or at least as soon as that is appropriate

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART II

Might want to go back and read Friday and Monday blog as this is a series on positivism and happiness.

I believe many of us received a distorted view of happiness as part of our growing up. Holding aside those rasied with neglect and abuse, the majority were made to feel as if their wishes were their parent's commands. Not always, but often enough in most cases, family's try to give to their children and make them happy. This is especially true of the infant and toddler. Thus, for many of us our intro to life was filled with our narcissism being indulged by those around us. It gives the impression that happiness and pleasure are our birthright and that it comes automatically. Nothing could be further from the truth.

At some point along the way reality rules and breaks the magic of our happiness. Parent's divorce, die, lose their jobs, become addicts,etc. Siblings die, taunt us, take our stuff, get pregnant, run away, become addicts, etc. We fail a test, have to do homework, get in trouble,strike out on the ball field or other places, become addicts, get pregnant,get nervous,etc.  The happy, fun loving kid gets wounded in so many ways on the battlefield of life. Recess is over and life gets more serious,complicated and demanding as we get older.

This is why feeling positive and happy can be an uphill struggle all the way. The cessful moments of our past have a way of lingering toxicly across the years like raw sewerage. However, we can push past them and rise above them. We can learn from them and let go of them. This is what therapy helps do so well most of the time. As I wrote a week or so ago, therapy comes in many forms.

Your first goal is to find a position between negative and narcissim. Let's call it neutral.This space enjoys the pleasures or comforts of the moment, enjoys thinking of past times that were good and anticipates more of the same in the future. This space does not klnow what lies ahead,but assumes things will work out OK. In this position you literally lift yourself out of negative and try to learn to go with the flow. When the hole of negativity reaches out for you, you step aside and change the channel. A typical self-statement in this position is, "I don't know how the ..speech..dinner party..dentist apopointment...plane ride..whatever.. will go, but I assume it will/I will.be OK. Admittedly not easy, but doable.

Tomorrow we will talk about going from neutral to positive.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, October 19, 2009

HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART I

On Friday I blogged about a free group that Mimi, our Director of the Tranquility Center, is starting to help people strengthen their committment to being more positive in their day to day lives. For more information call her at 954 696 1248.

I thought this week I would blog some on that topicand the general area of happiness. The latter is really elusive in today's world. I believe we suffer from information overload. Bad news has always traveled fast,but never faster than now. And, it comes at us from so many different sources.

I encourage people, especially sensitive and emotionally worn people, to block as much of that input as possible. It is important to surround yourself with that which soothes and comforts your soul. Think about what that is for you and think about how you can increase its presence in your life.

Happiness and positivism do not come naturally to most of us. People tend to be overwhelmed by their fears,worries,anticipations and negative expectations. Many dwell on what is or might go wrong as opposed to what is right--RIGHT NOW! One of the goals of a person trying to get to more positive spaces more often is to practice staying in what I call, the moment of the now.

As your mind drifts to negativity like a tongue going right for the hole left by a tooth extraction, pull it back. Change the direction of your thoughts by switching to a different channel. Remind yourself of the present moment and do something to make that moment a little more comforting and a little brighter. Someone once wrote a book called, " Happiness is a Choice."  Start right now to choose it more often.

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/
954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1
check 3/17 blog to know out goals

Friday, October 16, 2009

STAY UP!

Mimi, our Director of the Tranquility Program, is going to facilitate a free support group for POSITIVE PEOPLE or those who aspire to become that,entitled STAY UP.

It will begin on Wednesday,October 21 at 7PM in our Plantation Office.

Call her for more details (954 696 1248) and registration as we are limited to 15 participants.

If your initial reaction is posivie sign up. If your inital reaction is not, hurry up and sign up.

Bye For Now,

Bill


http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

chcek 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A WALK IN A (OMG) DIFFERENT PARK: XII

It always amazes me how local treasures go undiscovered. In Boca Raton, Florida we have Morikami Gardens. It is where the pictures in my article, "TAKING BETTER CARE OF YOU:The Secret Doors",(see williampenzerphd.com) were shot two years ago.

I went back there last week to walk around and enjoy the tranquility and beautiful gardens plus. I plan to join for an annual membership, go to their festivals and have lunch in their reasonably priced Japanese restaurant. I want to visit once a month.

It is a special place. If you don't know it go. If you do go back soon.

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A WALK IN THE PARK:XI

I have known about the power of distraction for a very long time. As a young boy I had to have a shot a week for my cold/bronchitis vulnerability. Somehow I learned that if I bit down on a wooden  tongue depressor at the moment of the shot it would lessen the pain. Needles were pretty thick back then !

I also discovered several years ago that reading the newspaper in the steam room distracted me from the heat. I enjoy the sweat,but not the Hate's-like heat.

Yesterday, I took my tape recorder to the park to walk and work on an article I am writing. I couldn't believe how fast I arrived back at my start spot and how little attention I paid to the multilevel sweat that had accumulated on my body on a 90 degree day--in October!

I believe that distraction--healthy distraction-- is what keeps us sane and comfortable-- through less than comfortable times. This is why TV and computers are so comforting as they distract us from us! It is OK as long as we stay grounded in reality and don't allow distractions to keep us from appropriately living and managing our lives. I hope this blog is a healthy and encouraging distraction for you. If so tell your family, friends,etc.

Bye For Now,

Bill
http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1
check 3/17 blog to know our goals.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A WALK IN THE PARK:PART X

This morning the park in which I walk was awash in noise. The leaf blowers were going full blast. Someone in an adjacent apartment was cutting tile on a screetching saw. There was a tool attached to a truck digging a hole in the ground making a loud sound like a generator giving it force. Kids were screaming in the playground and some were crying --the way kids can in the midst of fun. These noises rotated as I walked around the oval.

Didn't bother me one bit. The park ius my sanctuary--even on a noisy day.

We all need to tune out the noise and tune in on the treasures.

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A WALK IN THE PARK: PART IX

Sunday the games were over in the park by the time I walked. The red baseball team had beat the blue one. Both had hangers on talking, replaying the game,drinking water or a beer and socializing. The red team sat in the parking lot and the blue on the bleachers near the field. The comraderie of each group was what struck me.

The same was true of the basketball players. Yes, the explicatives were flying, but they were having post game fun talking about everything from pro basketball to their just finished game. The same was true over on the soccer fields. Though I didn't understand their banter in Portugese, I could sense their passion for the sport and for each other.

In all sports, there is a game and there is a team and there is a social network that at times seems more important than the other two. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, as the Gestalt Psychologists, taught us long ago.

GO PEOPLE! YAY!

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Friday, October 9, 2009

THE DALAI LAMA ON HELPING OTHERS

If you are a doctor, don't look after your patients out of routine or obligation.

When we take care of others it is extremely important to cultivate an altruistic attitude. This benefits not only the person on the receiving end,but also the person who gives.

The more we are concerned about the happiness of others,the more we are building our own happiness at the same time.

Never consider yourself to be superior to those you are helping.

When you are helping someone, do not be content with solving their problems...Give them also the means to resolve their problems themselves.


I am pleased and proud to say that without having read these ideas before, my colleagues and I have always operated on these principles and that is why our help has been so effective.

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Thursday, October 8, 2009

THE MAGIC OF THERAPY

As I have observed both professionally and personally there is an element in an effective psychotherapy that is magical. Since the process is focused on change and modification--especially of unhealthy thinking and behaving patterns--things that aren't focused on can change too.

It is as if an energy force is generated that works on what we are working on as well on what goes unspoken. Thus the results and the dividends are multiplied multifold.

I can't tell you how proud I am to have been associated with this magical process for over 36 years of helping others. It fills my pride bank every day as I help others fill theirs.

I sincerely hope you have personally experienced this magical process. It doesn't always work, but when it does-- which is most of the time--WOW!

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Bye

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

INTERACTIVE THERAPIES

The many people we encounter in our lives serve as a form of therapy--even though most are untrained. Bartenders, nail techs and hair stylists all hear more than their fare share of troubles from their clients. So do friends, coworkers, neighbors and others with whom we socialize and interact.

Though there may be some forces missing from these interactions that are part of a more traditional therapy, ( see tomorrows blog)  these can be helpful as well.

Important is to consider the source. The venting is always helpful, but sometimes the advice leaves something to be desired. Usually, you can judge the advice based on how the other person is living their own life. If it is stable their advice may be helpful. If there's is a chaotic scene, the helpfulness typically declines.

Yet I have met many less than stable therpaists, whose advice, support and help is top notch,despite their own messes. It is hard to predict, but we should always consider the source.

Bye For Now,

Bill


http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

MUSIC AS THERAPY

Surround yourself with the music you enjoy. I do. Part of our Tranquility Center in Plantation plays peaceful,relaxing music throughout the day. Everyone loves it--especially our staff. It porovides a soothing and calming background to the trauma we hear about and seek to neutralize. It salves our minds.

At home, as well, I have music--soft jazz or classical--playing throughout our waking hours. It provides a pleasant backdrop to whatever we are doing. It is playing now as I type.

No matter what your musical preferences I encourage you to lanquish and bathe in music. It heals your soul while awakening your senses and tranquilizing your anxieties. It is pure therapy.

Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

Monday, October 5, 2009

READING AS THERAPY:PART II

As I continue to read Pat Conroy's, "South of Broad", I realize that a good novelist can hit you right in your emotional lobanza and bring out all kinds of emotions. Depending on the page I love Pat or dislike him immensely/intensely as he makes me think, laugh or cry. But I always respect him and his ability to put words together to form sentences that are like the kiss of a loved one or the scalpel of a surgeon. Both go right to your heart!

Consider this brief sample from page 173:

                       Of all the friends I have, I think that Chad Rutledge and I understand each other
                       along every latitude and longitude of our melancholy hearts,and along the breathless
                       equator of our poor,lacerated souls.We like each other less than our other friends, yet
                       we share a respect for the talents and flaws of the other: we acknowledge the kinship of
                       our charged,imperfect brotherhood. Neither of us fears a thing about the other, yet knows
                       there is much to fear about both of us.

Man, I just went from the clutch hitting single minor leaguer to the  little leagues. But I thank those of you who said, "you write well, Bill." Pat, on the other hand, writes symphonically. I will keep practicing!


Bye For Now,

Bill

http://www.williampenzerphd.com/

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals